John Moves In
Written by
Ben Aston & Oli Fenton
Copyright (c) 2023 PaperEpic Productions Ltd
Producers - Ryan Bennett, Mike MacMillan
Contact - ryan@paperepic.com
1 INT. TEMPORAL IMMIGRATION CENTRE, ARRIVALS ROOM - NIGHT 1
This was once a domestic flat, but it has been stripped. No
belongings, no furnishing. The windows are covered up.
An alarm is sounding, counting down. A red light is pulsing,
regularly colouring the room. The walls are bare but for
large signs reading 'EVERYTHING WILL BE OKAY'.
Two immigration officers are facing the front door. It
appears unusually ordinary in this space. Undisturbed.
A group of scientists stand behind them, nonchalantly
monitoring instruments and drinking tea. One of them is
swiping on tinder. He gets a match.
TINDER SCIENTIST
It's happening! Uh... What's a good
opener?
OFFICER 1
Tell them where you work.
Above them we see a digital display reading '504'. Beside it
is a small speaker emitting the regular sound. It has
accelerated. Something is about to happen. Suddenly
everything is quiet.
The door handle turns and JOHN (30s) backs in, wearing a
dressing gown, holding a cardboard box. He pivots around-
JOHN
(affected)
Honey, I'm ho-
A claw on the end of a pole gracefully wraps around John's
neck and pulls him away from the door. He drops the box onto a
precisely positioned crash-mat at his feet.
OFFICER 2 OFFICER 1 Keep Calm John. Well done, well done.
The officers effortlessly wrestle him forward. We see the number on the digital display change over to '505'.
OFFICER 1 (cont'd)
Everything's gonna be okay, John.
JOHN
(long scream)
RACHEL!!
CUT TO BLACK:
TITLE: JOHN MOVES IN
2 INT. JOHN AND RACHEL'S FLAT - A FEW YEARS EARLIER 2
The same front door is closed. The home around it is now
comfortably furnished, messy with the accumulated detritus
of a long-term relationship. The floor is a mess of shoes
shoved haphazardly to one side.
We hear muffled voices and keys entering a lock. The door
pops open and John angles himself through, holding a tightly
packaged cardboard box. Behind him follows RACHEL (30s).
JOHN
Careful of the shoes.
John gauges the box size and looks down at the floor.
RACHEL JOHN
Fuck a duck. You were right... Yeah... it's too big.
Rachel squeezes past him, and bends down, measuring the
distance to the radiator with her arm.
JOHN (cont'd)
Umm- okay. What if we-
RACHEL
We can make it work. We can just slide
it when we open the door all the-
(changing her mind)
-no that's just making everything even
more complicated.
She gives John an imploring look. Wide eyes. He understands
immediately, laughing.
JOHN
What?! No, come on. We can't go back.
She doubles down, slipping into comedic exaggeration.
RACHEL
Shmoo... I'll buy you meatballs...
John looks at Rachel. She looks disappointed.
RACHEL (cont'd)
I just... I had a vision of everything
finally working today. I want to
figure this out.
MATCH CUT TO:
2.
John nods. He understands.
3 EXT. IKEA CAR PARK - DAY - LATER 3
A hand-me-down Honda Civic searches in vain for a space in the shadow of the looming blue warehouse. We hear the patronising voice of a relationship self-help guru in audiobook form. Think: Esther Perel.AUDIOBOOK (Israeli accent)...modern times we turn to one person to provide what an entire village once did: A sense of meaning, definition and continuity in our life experience. Is it any wonder that so many relationships crumble under the weight of it all? We are not villages. We are individual houses with our own walls and gardens and-John turns off the ignition and the audiobook stops. They are parked, sitting in silence. They both wait for the other to comment before-JOHN I- I don't really understand thisone.
RACHEL Mum recommended it.(imitating accent) It's an awful lot of... metaphor.JOHN (imitating accent,fiddling with phone)
Well... we'll keep at it. Maybe it'll start to make sense.4 INT. IKEA - FOOD COURT - LATER 4
John and Rachel are silently eating cafeteria style meatballs. It's grim here. Crowded and loud. This wasn't worth it.They share a glance. John forces a smile. Rachel smiles back. His turns into a grimace. Hers a silent scream. They continue back and forth, contorting their faces for each other. It's clearly their 'thing'.Rachel pulls her phone out, deflating the moment somewhat. They take a goofy selfie. It looks like they're having fun.
3.
5 INT. IKEA - HALLWAY SECTION - LATER 5
John and Rachel have left the food court, caught between the
entrance to the viewing plaza and the stairs to the warehouse.
JOHN
It's this way to the warehouse.
RACHEL
Yeah. But...
JOHN
We already did the walkthrough. We
know what we want.
RACHEL
C'mon, do the thing with me. It's the
fun bit.
John watches Rachel jog ahead, flopping onto a display sofa,
gesturing at the simulacrum of a room around her.
RACHEL (cont'd)
How do you like the new decor,
daaahling?
A tired John slowly walks up, putting on a smile for Rachel
as he enters the 'suite'. It feels like a little set.
JOHN
Very functional. It's missing a shoe
rack though.
RACHEL
You just appeared out of thin air. Door's
over there.
He exhales a moment before stepping out and back in again.
JOHN
(affected)
Honey, I'm home!!
RACHEL
Our beautiful pressed cardboard home.
Yes. Yes AND...
JOHN RACHEL
4.
JOHN
Yes AND- I remember when I built it
with my own two... uh- allen keys-
RACHEL
Yes you did, after the Great Flat-
Pack War. Oh those were troubled
times! Nothing matched.
JOHN
Terribly troubled. Such asymmetry. We
lost a lot of good screws that day.
John grabs an abstract stuffed animal off a BILLY bookcase.
JOHN (cont'd)
(sitting beside her)
But we AND our little, baby puppy-
RACHEL
Awww! Yes! Yes AND little Mr Chips.
JOHN
Yes. Mr Chips. All of us. We made it-
work. Those times when we felt like-
um- but it's okay now- because we're-
happy- we've kept on-
John's gaze seems to drift away.
RACHEL
Fuck's sake. We don't have to- I'm
sorry, I was just messing about.
JOHN
No... look- is that... that's Idris Elba.
She follows his gaze.
RACHEL
What? Really?
She squints to try and get a sharper look. We see a man perusing on the other side of the serpentine walkway. He could be. He's dressed like he's either on his way to or from the gym, partially hiding his face under a cap.
RACHEL (cont'd)
I don't think it's him. That's just a
bloke. In a hat.
JOHN
No that's Luther, looking at lamps.
5.
Excited, she tries sneakily snapping a photo to zoom in.
RACHEL
Oh my God... This is just like when we saw
Ralph Fiennes eating alone at Pizza
Express.
They get up and peer around the edge of the suite together.
RACHEL (cont'd)
It's so weird. I always figure when
you're famous, you'd have people do
that kind of thing for you, right?
JOHN
You look after yourself, I guess.
We watch this maybe-celebrity disappear around a corner.
6 EXT. HOUSING ESTATE - LATER 6
John and Rachel park outside their place. We hear the same chapter of the audiobook cut off at about the same point.7 INT. JOHN AND RACHEL'S FLAT - IMMEDIATELY AFTER 7
The door swings open. John angles himself through with the slightly smaller Fïssn box. He eyes the space, concerned. Rachel sneaks around him, measuring it with her arm again.
JOHN How much smaller is the smaller one?Rachel lets out a long, deep, exhausted sound.8 INT. JOHN AND RACHEL'S FLAT - LIVING ROOM - LATER 8
Rachel is on a zoom call as John fumbles building the Fïssn. She turns her laptop around to reveal her parents CAROL and ROB. He scooches over to join Rachel in the 'performance'.
RACHEL
Thanks muuuum.
CAROL
Now I know you're doing a
stellar job looking after
our Rache-y today, aren't
you darling?
JOHN
Not at all. Looking after me as
always, Carol.
6.
A chuckle from the phone as Rachel plants a big, exaggerated
kiss on John's cheek. They laugh idyllically.
9 INT. JOHN AND RACHEL'S FLAT - EVENING 9
John and Rachel are silently sat at a half-table eating dinner. Bottle of wine. Candle. Weirdly fancy.Around the flat we can see photographs and keepsakes dotted about. A sweet but terrible painting of Rachel by John. A happy couple's memories. The Fïssn is piled up against a stack of relationship advice books. From a laptop we hear their song: Take That's 'Back for Good'.
They haven't said a word. Eventually they share a glance and try the 'funny face' thing they do. It falls flat.10 INT. JOHN AND RACHEL'S BEDROOM - LATER 10
They're in bed, playing with their phones. John is reading an Instagram post from Rachel. We see their selfies from the day, along with a weird, grainy shot of maybe Idris Elba.
"Not how we expected our 11th Anniversary to go, but we've got Idris Elba's blessing for 11 more. I love you forever John. #Anniversary. #ForeverAndElba"112 likes. Comments: "Relationship Goalz", "I love Prometheus" and "You 2 are EVERYTHING", etc.John senses Rachel's eyes on him. She's on her side now, staring. He puts down the phone and leans to face her. They hold each other's gaze, perhaps waiting for something.RACHEL Happy anniversary.JOHN You too, Shmoo. Love you.John leans in to kiss her, but she's stiff. They both are.They slowly pull apart. She's crying. John searches his mind for the right thing to say, his eyes beginning to grow red.RACHEL Don't. It's nothing.JOHN It's not. It's something. It'sdifferent. I don't know...
7.
A quivering Rachel strokes his face.
RACHEL
No. Baby. Come back to me.
JOHN
It's like we're not us. Like we don't
make sense any more.
They hold each other, scared to breathe too loud. The noise
might be enough to shatter them. In a hushed breath we hear:
RACHEL
But we used to. Didn’t we?
JOHN
Hmm?
RACHEL
Make sense. Or was it always... was it
always like this?
She breaks down crying even harder. John tries to comfort
her but he looks scared out of his mind.
11 INT. KOSH'S NEW PLACE - THE NEXT NIGHT 11
John looks drained and shaky. He's holding the Fïssn box, staring at the sofa of his friend KOSH (late 20s).
KOSH
I haven't moved everything in yet, so
it's a bit empty at the moment.
JOHN
Thanks Kosh.
John can't stop looking at the stains on the sofa. It's
gross. Kosh sneaks some hand lotion away from a side table.
KOSH
Anything you need. Except sheets. You
got sheets?
John is reluctantly sitting down, pulling some of his
belongings out of the box. He sighs.
SNAP! John looks up to see Kosh taking a photo of him.
JOHN
Mate.
8.
KOSH
(Looking at his phone)
No it's cool. This is like a meme.
Like a 'sad guy' meme.
(shows him the photo) You're the new Sad Keanu.
JOHN
Oh God. Is that what I look like?
Delete that.
KOSH
Already deleted.
He turns around and we hear the 'woosh' sound of it posting.
John doesn't hear, pulling a phone charger with glittery
stickers out of the box. He turns it in his hands slowly.
JOHN
Shit. This is Rach's charger. It's
not compatible...
Kosh grimaces. He bends down and pats John's leg.
KOSH
I know exactly what you mean.
MATCH CUT TO:
12 INT. GOLDEN SUN CHINESE BUFFET - LATER 12 Kosh and John sit at the bar of this half-full restaurant.
KOSH
I've no idea what you mean.
Kosh takes a tequila shot and sucks on a lime.
JOHN
Look- It's difficult to explain.
We're just... we're trying ALL the time. Like going through the motions is all we've got left.
(downs his shot)
I'm really scared.
KOSH
Yeah. I mean, this is a big deal. You
two are the constant. A breakup of
this magnitude could set off a chain
reaction for the rest of us...
9.
JOHN
No, hang on... don't tell anyone. We're
not splitting up. Jesus.
KOSH
Well... What ARE you doing then?
JOHN
It's just space. Time to figure out
what's happening to us. Get us back to
where we're supposed to be.
Kosh nods thoughtfully, wiping the salt onto his trousers.
KOSH
Remember when this was a pizza hut?
Had my birthday here a lot.
(looking behind)
Yeah! That booth over there I think.
JOHN
It closed down a little after we
moved. Rach'd meet me here after work
so we could have something to burn off
at zumba.
John loses himself in a sad thought.
JOHN (cont'd)
Sorry- It's just, we're everywhere.
KOSH
(trying to recover)
Okay, Uh- well what I'm saying is: Life
is change and that's hard. One minute
you're pizza hut, and the next you're-
a Chinese buffet, with an abnormally
well-stocked tequila bar.
JOHN
(to the bar)
Can we get some more shots please?
(to Kosh)
Enough, okay? We're still pizza hut.
KOSH
Why do you wanna be pizza hut?
BARTENDER
What kind, my love?
10.
Doubles.
JOHN
13 INT. BEST ONES! CORNER-SHOP - MUCH LATER 13 John and Kosh are smashed.
Kosh is buying a bottle of tequila from behind the counter. John appears with an absurd amount of junk food while the proprietor AVO glares on.KOSH ...I'm just saying, you got a full head ofhair and all your teeth. You recycle, play piano, right? That's sexy. Time to show the world the new you.John mindlessly grabs even more sweets from the rack.JOHN
'New me' isn't part of the equationhere.
KOSH Kind eyes. Reasonably jacked.JOHN
I'm not splitting up. We're us. We'rejust doing a space... time... thing.Saying this aloud, a pang of deep concern flashes across his face. Oh god. Is he breaking up?AVO You listen to your friend. The heart...it is like an ocean. (very slowly)And when the plane crashes into the ocean. They say take care of the mask on yourself first.JOHN
Fuck.
14 INT. KOSH'S NEW PLACE - LATER 14
Kosh and John are sitting on the sofa, engulfed in the TV. They're mindlessly bashing buttons over a fighting game. Two half-empty glasses of tequila and lemonade sit at their feet, along with many sweet wrappers. John looks scared.JOHN It's... going to be okay, right?
11.
KOSH
(pats his leg)
It's okay mate. Everything's going to
be okay.
John's phone pings. He looks down at it.
15 INT. KOSH'S NEW PLACE - EVEN LATER 15
John is lying on Kosh's sofa, bathed in the glow of his phone. We can hear rain pounding hard outside.He's reading a message chain. We see snatches of a text from Rachel: '-I hope we can get the old us back, I really love who we used to be. Tell me we can do that...’'As he responds the low battery alert comes up on his phone. He reaches for the phone charger. Rachel's incompatible charger. His heart crumples.16 INT. KOSH'S BEDROOM - SHORTLY AFTER 16
The door flings open. A hammered John sloshes in, holding the charger.JOHN Oh fuck, oh fuck K, I'm fucking itall up. I don't want to break up.Kosh sleeps naked. He snaps awake, pulling the sheet over himself.KOSH
WHA?!
JOHN
We're not incompatible Kosh. We mean
something.
Kosh blearily checks the time on his phone.
KOSH
Right, well-
JOHN
She's my entire life and- Oh God. I
have to go back right now.
KOSH
Now?
12.
NOW.
JOHN
17 INT. JOHN AND RACHEL'S FLAT - LATER 17
Lightning strike. We hear a doorbell and manic knocking. A
light turns on revealing the familiar front door. Above the
patter of rain we can make out the faint sound of music.
Rachel approaches cautiously, looking through the peephole.
RACHEL
John?
She tries to open the door but can't, the Fïssn is blocking it. She articulates it out of the way and reveals a soaking wet John standing in the foyer. He's singing 'Back for Good', playing the track through his tinny phone-speakers.
JOHN
"Whatever I said, whatever I did I
didn't mean it I just want you back
for good"
(mimics the echo)
"Want you back, want you back-"
(the phone dies)
"Want you ba-" no... The phone died. Because- I have your charger... but I forgot to bring it. Fuck.
We hear a toddler crying and another apartment door open.
RACHEL
Baby what the fuck are you doing?
She coaxes his drunk, wet self into the flat.
JOHN
It's- Kosh was talking about how
we're Pizza Hut, and how maybe we're
closing down now, a bit closed down-
but we can reopen!
(bends down)
Reopen with me.
RACHEL
(gasping)
Ohmygod...
Rachel leaps
and catches her, leaning them both into the wall.
back, tripping up over the Fïssn. John darts up
13.
RACHEL (cont'd)
You caught me...
JOHN
And from the day I met you at Ben
Sanders' party I knew-
(bending down again)
You were my future. I can't possibly
imagine myself without you.
RACHEL
(starting to cry)
Oh shit... I want to take a picture but
I don't want to move.
JOHN
I'm sorry we're all complicated, but-
what did that book say? If we love
each other then we can make it work...
RACHEL
(nodding, sobbing)
And we will, 'cause I love you times a
thousand, you idiot.
John starts to unwrap a ring-pop sweet.
JOHN
I love you too Shmoo. They only had
cherry-
Rachel keeps nodding, joining him on the floor. They embrace
hard, as hard as they can.
18 INT. JOHN AND RACHEL'S FLAT - BEDROOM - NEXT MORNING 18
John is already awake. Head on the pillow. He's staring at a sleeping Rachel, trying to hold on to the moment. A pinch of uncertainty creeps onto his face. He slips out of bed.19 INT. JOHN AND RACHEL'S FLAT - KITCHEN - LATER 19
John is cracking eggs and mixing a batter. As he pours some out into a pan we see Rachel's hands wrap around his waist.She squeezes tight, holding onto him from behind.
14.
20 INT. JOHN AND RACHEL'S FLAT - LATER 20
John and Rachel are sat at the half-table, perfect banana
crepes in front of them. Like before they are silently
eating, looking up to catch each others eye occasionally.
RACHEL
You're gonna make us fat.
They share a benign smile. Suddenly Rachel’s phone pings. A
welcome intervention that perks them both up. She reads it.
RACHEL (cont'd)
It's Dad. About Sunday lunch.
JOHN
Oh yeah. You didn’t... cancel already,
did you?
RACHEL
No. I didn't quite know what to-
JOHN
Good. Great.
RACHEL
(still reading)
Honestly- he's actually found a way
to bring the watch up again...
JOHN
Bet he has.
A shared chuckle. Slightly forced. They return to silence.
John's phone starts buzzing. He picks it up.
JOHN (cont'd)
Right. Kosh. He's outside with the-
your charger. It's in the box with
the other stuff. Stay right there.
He leaves the room, entering the hallway. He reaches to open the front door but its blocked by the Fïssn.
JOHN (cont'd)
Oh for fuck sake...
He moves it along and tries to open the door. Not enough. He
has to move it further, opening the door and walking out on to-
15.
21 EXT. HOUSING ESTATE - CONTINUOUS 21
On the opposite side of the street an ELDERLY NEIGHBOUR is
waving. John waves back, feigning a smile.
JOHN
Hey Mr Palmer!
John makes his way to the road. Kosh is sitting in his car,
the window down. He turns down his music.
KOSH
Recycling's in the boot.
JOHN
You're a life saver, mate. Really.
Kosh pops the boot and John walks around, grabbing the box.
KOSH
So everything's cool?
John rounds to the drivers window again.
JOHN
Yeah! It's- like I said, it was just
a wobble is all. We've worked it all
out together. In fact we... took it to
the next level.
Kosh doesn't know what he means.
JOHN (cont'd)
We're engaged, finally.
KOSH
Oh shit! Uh- congrats...?
JOHN
Yeah. Thank you. It's crazy. It's
good though. Great.
(a beat)
Let's all celebrate at pizza hut.
KOSH
John, it's a buffet now. You can't go
back.
JOHN
Right. I know. I was just trying to
be funny.
Kosh nods again. He's serious.
16.
KOSH
Good. Just making sure.
Kosh drives away, leaving John to think on it a moment.
Brushing it off he turns around and in an unbroken shot we
follow him into the foyer, turning at the first door on the
left. Balancing the box between his hand and thigh, he slots
his key into the lock. Before he turns the handle, he
pauses, breathing in deeply. Showtime.
We follow him as he pushes through the door-
JOHN
(affected)
-Honey I'm hom-
22 INT. TEMPORAL IMMIGRATION CENTER, ARRIVALS ROOM - CONTINUOUS 22
-and crosses the threshold. A claw on the end of a pole
gracefully wraps around his neck and pulls him away from the
door. The box falls from his hands and on to a small crash-
mat placed in anticipation.
JOHN
-ooork.
The door slams shut. He attempts to struggle against the
restraints, but two large Immigration Officers step in and
effortlessly subdue him. Just another day at the office.
OFFICER 1
Everything's gonna be okay, John.
"EVERYTHING WILL BE OKAY" is written on the far wall.
JOHN
RACHEL!?
RACHEL (O.S.)
The first thing we need to do is calm
down and relax, Shmoo.
John spots a monitor behind cracked safety glass. On it we
can see Rachel. She's dressed differently, offering a
comforting and understanding smile.
RACHEL
Things are just a little complicated,
that's all. Everything's going to be
explained in the next room.
17.
The guards take him by each arm. The video keeps running but
John isn't paying attention.
JOHN
What? Where am I?!
OFFICER 2
Listen to your ex, Johnno.
John realizes this is his living room. No furniture, no
photographs, no Rachel. His whole home has been transformed.
JOHN
What?! Wait, This is my-
JOHN
THIS IS MY FLAT!
He is marched down a-
23 INT. CORRIDOR - CONTINUOUS
OFFICER 1
Come on, you're doing great.
-where we see two scientists in a break room drinking tea.
They watch dispassionately as he is dragged past.
JOHN
THAT'S MY BEDROOM! HELP! RACH WHERE
ARE YOU? WHAT HAPPENED TO OUR-
OFFICER 2
No need to be so dramatic.
OFFICER 1
Plenty of fish in the sea!
The rest of his flat has been massively extended and built
upon, as if the Home Office's HR department had collided
into it. The officers march him abruptly through an open
doorway into-
24 INT. ORIENTATION ROOM - CONTINUOUS 24 -where they let John go. He turns to face them.
OFFICER 1
Right. You all right?
JOHN
What!?
We're legally required to ask.
OFFICER 2
18.
23
JOHN
Where the fuck am I? Who are you!?
OFFICER 2
Good enough.
They shut the door, leaving him alone. John grabs the
handle, desperately trying to open it. It's locked.
OFFICER 1 (O.S.)
(through the door)
Eat a Hobnob mate, you'll feel better.
In the small room we see a table and two chairs. A plate of
Hobnobs is on the table. A monitor is mounted to the wall.
John is frozen like a trapped animal, breathing wildly.
Suddenly the lights dim and a video starts. We see time-
lapses of sunrises with the title: 'WELCOME HOME JOHN'.
DEEP VOICE (V.O.)
Hello John. Everything is going to be
okay. You're going to be okay.
We see stock footage of clouds.
DEEP VOICE (V.O.) (cont'd)
Life is about to change, but don't be
afraid. You are not alone.
John cautiously walks over towards the monitor. The clouds
dissolve away, revealing the face of actor IDRIS ELBA.
IDRIS
That's right. It's really me. Now go
ahead and take a seat, big man.
John doesn't believe his eyes. Without taking them off the
screen he obliges, carefully sitting down.
IDRIS (cont'd)
This must all seem like a lot. I've
been asked to be here with you today,
and you of all people know how far I
go for my fans. Would you believe me
if I said I was a fan of you too?
Idris lets off a wink and a smile. John is in shock, but the
sentiment seems to put him a little more at ease.
IDRIS (cont'd)
Sit back. Take a deep breath. Have a
Hobnob.
19.
John looks down at the Hobnobs.
IDRIS (cont'd)
Now. There's no one reason, that we can
observe, for why you're here, biting
down into that biscuit. Rather, it
appears to be the result of an
entangled cascade of many disparate-
(smooth laugh)
Yeah. It's complicated. Real quantum
physics, edge of human reasoning sorta
stuff. So who better to help me explain
than another one of my biggest fans...
The camera zooms out to reveal someone IDENTICAL to John.
This is JOHN PRIME. He's a little older and better dressed,
looking like an awkward, adult son of a President. He greets
Idris with a cringey fistbump-hug fail.
Back in the room Junior instinctively jolts back, clenching
the arms of his chair. He inhales sharply on hearing-
PRIME
Hi John. It's me. You. Original you.
A while ago when -uh, it just
happened for you I guess, but- I was
busy being me, and then another you
came through the door right behind
me. And then another, and another,
once or twice a day till you...
whenever now is.
We see newsreel footage of the 'Hounslow Incident'; shaky shots of Rachel and John being escorted into a black van, vertical phone recordings of Johns being chased by men in hazmat suits. We see scientists cautiously examining and removing the Fïssn and other furniture, stepping back as John enters through the door in the exact same way, from the exact same moment in time, over and over.
Back in the room John looks like he's watching a beheading.
IDRIS
The eggheads are referring to your
spacetime phenomena as a brute fact. A new law of the universe that suddenly- was or- is or- who knows, it's happening. That's the important bit.
PRIME
Exactly. Thanks again for being here,
man. I know it'll mean the world to-
(MORE)
20.
PRIME (cont'd) (Idris clears throat)
Yeah- uh- right-
(to camera, fumbling)
John. Mate. I'm- look at it like this.
You get to be a whole new me now, yeah?
And there's only one other person who
wants that for you more than I do.
(calling off-screen)
Babe?
Rachel enters the frame. She looks different. Successful.
John immediately stands up. On screen Idris and Rachel share
a familiar, celebrity hug.
IDRIS
Hey Rayray.
RACHEL
Thanks again 'dris.
(to the camera)
Hey Shmoo.
John takes a breath. Rachel struggles to find the words.
RACHEL (cont'd)
Since we had breakfast, I've had time
to think and- the fact is I'm a
different person now, and so are you...
obviously.
John walks towards the screen, as if he's reaching out.
RACHEL (cont'd)
You moving back in like this, over
and over again- you were right the
first time, in a way- you and I-
we're just not us any more.
JOHN
No... Rach no I didn't mean...
Rachel's response seems almost timed to how John responds.
RACHEL
Back when it made sense, what we had
was beautiful, but- though it might
not feel that way to you now, that
time, it's in the past. It's over.
She's starting to well up.
21.
RACHEL
And I think it's finally
time we let us go.
JOHN
(shouting)
No! Rach! That's not me! I'm
here! I'm still here!!
Prime puts his arm around Rachel, comforting her.
PRIME
That was so great babe.
RACHEL
Yeah?
PRIME
Oh yeah. I really felt that.
(to camera)
I'm so sorry- that must have been a hard thing to hear. It's hard for me to hear, but rest assured, we're going to be okay.
Rachel wipes away a tear and squeezes Prime tightly.
RACHEL
Exactly. Don't worry about us any
more. We're doing great.
PRIME
(looking to Rachel)
Yeah. Super great.
RACHEL
Yeah- it's- we're great. Everything's
just-
PRIME
Yeah- we're the same, just-
RACHEL
Famous and- yeah- still us.
You know-
you know-
PRIME
(to camera)
-this isn't about us right now. This
is about you. The new you. And you
needs space from us to- figure that
out and- be that best self?
(to Rachel)
Yeah?
RACHEL
Yeah- uh- sure.
22.
PRIME
(to camera)
Yeah. I got us, you got you. You- you
keep on trucking. All right mate?
JOHN
(screamed)
WHAT!? NO!
We star wipe to Idris Elba with his leg on a folding chair.
IDRIS
Now I know this ain't easy, boss,
but- just like in The Wire when Omar and... that bow-tie guy, shit what was his name? Mike Potts was the actor. Anyway, when they shot my character... this is like that.
Distraught, John is no longer able to look at the screen.
JOHN
(to himself)
Okay you need to wake up right now.
IDRIS (O.C.)
But it's okay. Because unlike
Stringer Bell, someone very special
out there has your back.
John looks back up at the screen to see a new title:
'MEET YOUR SPONSOR'
IDRIS
Standing on the other side of that
door is your Class 4 TTS, Temporary
Temporal Sponsor, here to support you
in your transition to the present.
We see a montage of different faces, all smiling.
IDRIS (cont'd)
Don't think of them as public
contractors, think of them as a new
best friend, here to take you in and
get you back on your feet.
John turns to look at the door then back to the monitor.
IDRIS (cont'd)
Today it might even be me out there!
(another wink)
Life is change. Welcome home John.
23.
We see a montage of diverse, friendly people all saying
variations of 'welcome home, John'. We hear a thud as the
door unlocks and opens.
John spins around. The sponsor entering the room is nothing like those people. It's much worse. It's another John.
This weary time-clone is holding a handful of pamphlets. The
number 505 is tattooed on the back of his right hand.
From now on this new character is known as SENIOR. The 'John'
whom we've been following will be referred to as JUNIOR.
Junior leaps back, pinning himself against the monitor.
Behind him the 'Welcome Home, John' montage continues.
Senior sits down. He doesn't look up.
Junior remains frozen, his breathing increasingly erratic.
Senior shuffles the pamphlets a little too long. We hear the
sound of the video come to an end as he takes a Hobnob, changes
his mind and puts it back down. He still hasn't looked up. He
clears his throat and casually recites:
SENIOR
Welcome home, John. You're probably
wondering who I am. I'm 'insert name'
and it's my top priority to make-
A horrified scream lurches out of Junior. This visibly
unsettles Senior, skimming ahead as the scream ends.
SENIOR (cont'd)
-public solution to a cosmic- yada
yada- contempo-matriculation with an
option for extension if-
A second, even louder scream. Senior finally looks up at
Junior, clearly overwhelmed.
SENIOR (cont'd)
I'm reading the pamphlets like they
said to, so calm down and help me out!
Junior's scream runs out of air and he begins retching.
SENIOR (cont'd)
Oh- Oh no, don't- stop it-
Senior starts to gag, triggered by Junior.
We watch them both retching a moment. Stuck in a loop.
24.
Panicked, Senior scans the room, spotting a small metal bin
in the corner. He grabs it, almost vomiting into it himself.
SENIOR (cont'd)
Don't- they're already suspicious, if
you vom I'm going to get into-
Junior swipes the bin, swinging wildly and smacking Senior
in the face with it, who falls back with a yelp.
Junior sprints for the door, ripping it open into-
25 INT. CORRIDOR - CONTINUOUS 25 Where he charges back the way he came.
26 INT. BREAK ROOM - CONTINUOUS 26 The Immigration Officers and Scientists are having tea.
TINDER SCIENTIST (looking at phone)There's always two people in the photos. I can't tell which one is them.OFFICER 1 Arrange a date, find out on the night.TINDER SCIENTIST Yeah but, what if it's both?Suddenly Junior sprints past. Everyone jumps to their feet.OFFICER 2 OH GOD HE'S TRYING TO GO BACK!27 INT. ORIENTATION ROOM - CONTINUOUS 27 Senior, holding his eye, staggers up. From now on we will be
able to distinguish him by his injury.An alarm begins sounding. Senior stumbles out into the-28 INT. CORRIDOR - CONTINUOUS 28
-where a group of scientists and admin staff rush past him in the opposite direction, arguing and clearly scared.Senior tries to look inconspicuous. He considers following them out, but his eyes are drawn towards his old flat.
25.
29 INT. ARRIVALS ROOM - CONTINUOUS 29 Senior turns the corner into what was his living room.
OFFICER 2
You can't go back John. It doesn't
work that way.
The immigration officers are huddling around the front door.
It's closed. One is trying to jiggle the handle but the other
is pulling him away.
NO SHIT!
OFFICER 1
Careful, you don't wanna break it!
OFFICER 2
(noticing Senior)
Wait? I thought he went in the- Oh
God it's happening again!
OFFICER 1
(raising a taser)
WHO THE HELL ARE YOU!?
SENIOR
(putting his hands up)
I'm John! I'm John-
OFFICER 2 OFFICER 1
HOW DID YOU GET IN HERE?
SENIOR
-I'm already here! I was just-
OFFICER 2 SENIOR
WHY ARE YOU HERE? FOR HIM! FOR THE NEW ME!
OFFICER 1
Oh God... he's the sponsor.
OFFICER 2
I don't get it, a John has
SENIOR
Oh- No. I'm not- I'm just
never sponsored another...
What?
here as a favour!
OFFICER 1
SENIOR
I just said I'd pick him up that's
all- I- this was a mistake, I'm sorry-
You know what you're doing, I'll just-
OFFICER 2
THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!
26.
Officer 1 lunges at Senior, grabbing him by the collar.
OFFICER 2 (cont'd)
You let him. Re-enter. The rift zone.
SENIOR
I- I'm sorry. I didn't read the
pamphlets...
Officer 1 steps in even closer to Senior. He doesn't blink.
OFFICER 2
Behind me is an impossibility that we
have successfully managed without a
single fuck up until now, and I'm not
getting sacked the day the universe
collapses because you let the new guy
clog up the pipe!
He spins and pushes Senior towards the door.
OFFICER 2 (cont'd)
Fix it! Fix it now!
Senior limply tries to open the door. It's locked. He looks
back. They are not impressed. He knocks. Still nothing. This
isn't going well.
SENIOR
John? You okay in there?
30 INT. RIFT ZONE - ROOM BEHIND THE DOOR - CONTINUOUS 30
Junior is slumped on the floor, his back against the door,
keys still in the lock. He's in shock.
SENIOR (O.S.)
We're not supposed to hang out in
that room apparently.
We reveal what Junior is looking at. What should be a view
of his housing estate is now a small, sterile enclosure.
There is nothing here. There is no going back.
SENIOR (O.S)
People are scared of what happens if
the next John moves in on top of you.
A beat. Junior tries to process what Senior just said.
JUNIOR
What? How?... How many?
27.
31 INT. ARRIVALS ROOM - CONTINUOUS 31 Senior is up against the door.
SENIOR
What's that?... Mate?
JUNIOR (O.S.)
How. Many.
Senior looks up at the digital display and sighs.
SENIOR
You're number- 1031.
We hear Junior's muffled wail as more officers enter the
room. Senior silently signals everyone to back off.
Nothing.
SENIOR (cont'd)
(urgently)
Look just open the door.
SENIOR (cont'd)
...John? You still... here?
JUNIOR (O.S.)
Why is this happening?
Senior looks over at the group, shaking his head with an 'I
have no fucking idea' kind of shrug. A scientist furiously
points at the pamphlets, throwing a copy to Senior.
SENIOR
I don't- look, you're not
exactly the first to- lemme
just-
SENIOR
(reading, cringing)
I- I mean- you are like footsteps in the sand- uh- a moment of becoming in the life journey of John.
JUNIOR
We were- What's
us? Me? I don't
JUNIOR
I was- I DIDN'T
BREAK US UP AND
OH GOD WHAT DID
US?
(O.S.)
happened to
understand!!
(O.S.)
WANT TO
NOW WE'RE-
YOU DO TO
SENIOR
You're blaming me for this??
JUNIOR (O.S.)
WHAT DID YOU DO? HOW DID YOU
RUIN EVERYTHING-
Senior starts kicking the door. Agents run in to stop him.
SENIOR
oh- FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU
DICKHEAD!
28.
SENIOR (cont'd)
If you collapse the universe, Rach
will never forgive you!
JUNIOR (O.S.)
You know where she is? Where's Rachel?
The agents suddenly look at each other.
OFFICER 1
Uh- John. We know where she is, and-
SENIOR
She sure as shit isn't in
there!
OFFICER 1
-we'll make sure you see her
straight away. Just need you
out of there. Safe and
sound.
The agents stare daggers at Senior, but they hold still.
A long beat. Suddenly the noise of a key unlocking. Slowly,
the door handle turns. Junior tentatively eases out.
JUNIOR
Okay, just tell me how I can-
ZAP! Officer 1 fires a taser. Senior tackles Junior. HARD. CUT TO BLACK:
32 INT. IDENTIFICATION TREATMENT ROOM - LATER 32 Over black we hear voices, as well as a faint buzzing sound.
SENIOR (O.C.)
No- look- I'm just his flatmate, I'm
really not part of the equation here.
MAN (O.C.)
So his actual sponsor doesn't care or-?
SENIOR (O.C.)
Oh she cares. I think this is more of a
tenth child syndrome type of jobbie...
Junior comes-to. He blearily looks down to see that his hand
is being tattooed by a nurse, LEE. Horrified he yanks his
hand back, Lee pulls the tattoo gun away.
LEE
Woah! Easy, I almost hashed it up!
29.
JUNIOR
THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!?
Not used to hearing this, a confused Lee looks to Senior.
SENIOR
Oh don't worry, I signed his name on
the consent form already.
(to Junior)
We really have to get going. You've no
idea what this has been like for me-
Horrified at Senior's presence, Junior grabs Lee's arm.
LEE
Woah! Woah-
JUNIOR
You got to help me. I need to-
JUNIOR
(losing it)
Wake me up! Do something,
PLEASE!
LEE
Hey! Look at me mate. Breathe. I know
your move in was more taser-y than usual,
but you're gonna be well looked after
from here on.
(nodding to Senior)
See? Everything's going to be okay.
Junior looks over to see Senior angrily eating a Hobnob, his
black eye starting to come through.
LEE (cont'd)
Would you like a biscuit too? It's
your favourite.
Junior doesn't respond, staring into the middle distance.
JUNIOR
Oh God this is really happening.
Lee calmly continues tattooing before he notices-
LEE
I'm afraid so... oh bollocks- what
number were you again?
33 INT. PROCESSING AND DEPARTURE AREA - LATER 33
Junior is sitting on a row of plastic chairs in a foyer with
all the antiseptic quality of airport customs.
30.
He looks down at the cling film covering his right hand. We
can see through to the messed-up tattoo:
1 0 30 1
Next to Junior is a small table, there are some magazines
and another pile of the pamphlets. 'Welcome Home John'
He moves the pamphlets, revealing his face on the magazine below. The headline reads: 'Living the Dream: Prime and Rachel: Life, Love and Baby Rumours? Our Exclusive Interview'
SENIOR (O.C.)
Think fast.
Senior has appeared, tossing the IKEA box on Junior's lap.
SENIOR
Forms are in the box. Let's go.
Senior begins walking towards the exit. Junior doesn't know
what to do, so he just sits. Frozen. Senior notices and
turns around. Junior recoils as Senior leans in.
SENIOR (cont'd)
(hushed)
Come on! You're making me look like a
dickhead.
An alarm goes off. Three loud buzzes from the PA system.
JUNIOR
But... this is my home.
This hits Senior hard. He looks thrown.
SENIOR
I... fuck. Why'd you have to
say that...
PA SYSTEM (O.S.)
ALL PERSONNEL, TAKE FIRST
POSITIONS.
SECURITY GUARD (from across the room)
Hey, you two gotta move on. The next
one's coming through.
SENIOR
(mindlessly)
Yeah... yeah.
A depressed Senior just heads out of the building through the
automatic doors. The guard walks up and stands over Junior
who is reaching out for the glossy magazine in front of him.
31.
JUNIOR
No- This is- It's still- I'm still...
The guard gently rests his hand on Junior's shoulder.
SECURITY GUARD
Just remember to smile, okay?
34 EXT. TEMPORAL IMMIGRATION CENTER - NIGHT 34
We hear a tour guide announce something in Mandarin and are hit with an eruption of flashes as Junior exits through the sliding doors. Tourists come to see the latest John emerge.Cries of 'HE IS RISEN', 'MARRY ME' and 'GO BACK' echo out.A walkway ahead leads to a small line of black cabs, and at the end we see Senior vaping, trying to relax.Junior cautiously approaches the taxi. He shudders. It's autumn now, colder than it was before. He looks back at where his home once was. The temporal immigration centre has absorbed his entire housing estate. He can never go back.Senior clears his throat, he's holding the taxi door open.35 INT. TAXI - CONTINUOUS 35 The taxi driver turns to look at Junior in the back seat.
TAXI DRIVER Alright John?Junior shrinks as far into his side as possible, trying to create as much distance as he can from Senior, who takes the other seat, slamming his door on an overzealous tourist.SENIOR Alma road. Near the station.Senior groans loudly as the cab pulls away, covering his face with his hands. Spotting Senior's '505' tattoo, Junior retreats further, grabbing the handle of his door.SENIOR (cont'd) OH MY GOD- What a fucking disaster.Do you know how close we got to getting Johntanimo'd?Junior looks out of his own window for a possible escape, but instead spots his elderly neighbour Mr Palmer standing on the side of the road giving the taxi the middle finger.
32.
JUNIOR
When- what year is this?
SENIOR
Oh no. You wanna talk? Talk to your
sponsor.
Senior exhales deeply, pulling out his phone to make a call.
TAXI DRIVER
You know I've never seen you come out
of there twice at once before?
SENIOR
Yeah yeah- we've already gone through
it mate. It's just a favour. (looking at his phone)
A gigantic fucking favour.
Junior keeps staring out the window, spotting another time-
clone waiting at a bus stop, jumping when their eyes meet.
SENIOR (cont'd)
(on the phone)
Hey Marty- Yeah! Yeah, all moved out.
On our way back. Sure- he says hi.
Uh- No, no dramas. Almost ended
reality but, you know... yeah okay-
Sure hang on-
Without looking over, Senior holds the phone out to the side
of Junior's face, on the other end we hear an accented voice.
MARTY'S VOICE (O.C)
Hey you, welcome welcome, I'm so
sorry I couldn't meet you at
arrivals, but it seems like you've
looked after yourself.
As the car settles at a red light, Junior takes in a massive
billboard looming over the street. His mind buckles. John
Prime is on the billboard, his arm around Rachel. The sign
reads: 'PRIME OF OUR LIVES: New Episodes, Streaming Now.
MARTY'S VOICE (O.C) (cont'd) Anyway, Just got in and can't wait to-
THUD! The sound of a wet rag hitting the windscreen. It's
another John trying to wash windows at the crossing.
TAXI DRIVER
Oh no. No thanks John! No
thank you!
SENIOR
(to window John)
Oi prat! Give it a rest!
33.
Junior doesn't hesitate, this is it. Clutching his box
tightly, he pulls on the handle and bails out onto-
36 EXT. STREET - CONTINUOUS 36 -sprinting into this new, terrifying world.
Weaving between the traffic he nearly misses being run over
by a double decker bus FULL OF JOHNS. He screams as he
meets their dead-eyed looks.
An old lady rolls down her car window.
KIND OLD LADY
John, poppet. You mustn't be running
in the road.
JUNIOR
You know me! Do you know Rachel?
Where is she? Please help me!
KIND OLD LADY
Aw, there's plenty of fish in the
sea. Everything's going to be-
Green light. A few cars honk. She drives on.
DRIVER (O.C.)
You're not funny mate. Get out the
road you time-clone twat.
Junior darts over to the pavement and keeps running, passing
a building with a crummy mural of Rachel on the wall, a near
replica of the painting we saw in their flat. Distracted by
it, he collides with a group of tourists.
JUNIOR
Help me, please, what year is this?
They don't seem to understand, touching him and taking
photographs of his box. He points at the mural.
JUNIOR (cont'd)
Do you know where she is? Rachel?
Recognizing the name, they nod and echo him.
JUNIOR (cont'd)
YES! Where does she live? I need to
see her! I need to get back to her!
They gather around Junior for a selfie.
34.
TOURIST JUNIOR
Al igual que el programa! Wait, no I don't want to-
The tourist takes a photo. Junior notices one of them
holding a bilingual map with points of local interest.
Grateful, a tourist pulls out a two pound coin for Junior.
TOURIST
Gracias hombre triste.
Junior hands the coin back, snatches the map and sprints
away. The tourists stand confused.
37 EXT. OUTSIDE PRIME MANOR - LATER 37
We watch BUSKING JOHN play 'Back For Good' on a cheap, electric piano. He's sporting a cowboy hat and a 'Prime of our Lives' T-shirt, clumsily working Rachel into the song.
This tourist trap is Prime Manor; a gaudy 'footballers row'
McMansion set back from a two hundred yard driveway and a
large iron gate, complete with security guards on site.
Ignoring the peppering of aimless Johns, the scene more
closely resembles Buckingham Palace on a quiet day; a
congregation of tourists and grifters hocking knock-off merch.
Junior stands before it all, still holding his box. He makes
his way for the fence, avoiding other Johns.
Junior peers through. He is confused. Where is Rachel?
To his right a mustachioed John has his arms up on the bars,
vaping. Junior gulps and tries to confront himself.
JUNIOR
Hey... You... J-John...
Annoyed, Moustache John turns to look at Junior, who
freezes. It's suddenly like looking into a fun-house mirror.
JUNIOR (cont'd)
Are- oh God are you also trying to
get back?
Junior backs away, scanning the crowd. His eyes land on some
tourists taking a picture with Busking John. Behind them is
someone familiar-
JUNIOR (cont'd)
KOSH!
Kosh is standing apart from the crowd, casually talking on
the phone. Elated, Junior sprints over to him.
35.
JUNIOR (cont'd)
Oh my God... Kosh it's you!
KOSH
I'm on the phone mate, can you-
Kosh clocks Junior's box and puts down the phone.
KOSH (cont'd)
John! You just got here, right?
JUNIOR
I don't understand what's happening,
K. Everything is so fucked up, I-
Kosh warmly places a hand on his shoulder.
KOSH
You've come to the right place,
that's exactly why I'm here.
Junior breathes a small sigh of relief.
JUNIOR
Thanks man, I just...
(getting emotional)
I don't know what's going on, or who
I am or- my whole life has gone but
also it's over there and-
KOSH
-Uh-huh listen I'm filling up fast
right now but I still have a couple
slots going mid next week.
He hands Junior a business card: KOSH - Executive Director -
John Support
Services - 4EVER UR FRIEND
KOSH (cont'd)
There's a phone number on there, but
I'm transitioning to online bookings
only, so your best bet is going via
the website- voucher code Newbie-1
for 20% off.
Junior is stunned. Kosh gives him an affirming pat on the
arm, but is distracted by a rumble from the crowd. He nods
towards it.
KOSH (cont'd)
Good timing. You might catch a
glimpse of her.
36.
Rachel?
JUNIOR
A large black chauffeur car rolls slowly towards the gate.
There is a buzz of attention from the crowd. Junior begins
to drift towards the commotion, moving faster as the car
passes into the property and the gates shut.
The car makes its slow way up the drive. Junior darts back
to the fence and starts looking for a route up. Nothing.
He spins to face Moustache John, still leaning against the
bars, sighing longingly as he watches the car roll away.
JUNIOR (cont'd)
You. Please give me a boost.
Moustache John looks like he's been insulted.
MOUSTACHE JOHN
The hell do you think you are?
JUNIOR
Christ, please! One of you be nice to
me for just a second.
Moustache John scans him up and down. Thinking. He nods.
JUNIOR (cont'd)
Really!
Moustache John gestures at a good spot, exhaling vape smoke.
Junior drops his box, takes a step back, then runs at
Moustache John, who boosts him up over his head. Junior's
hands reach the top, and with some assistance is just able
to pull himself over into-
38 EXT. PRIME MANOR GROUNDS - CONTINUOUS 38 -falling down onto a small flower bed. He spins around.
JUNIOR
Thank you! Now just toss over-
Moustache John is running away with the box. Junior looks
like he's just been stabbed.
GUARD (O.S.)
A guard has spotted him. No time. Junior sprints away.
HEY YOU!
37.
Prime and Rachel's car continues to roll up towards the
house, coming to a halt at the entrance palladium.
Junior bursts through an ornamental bush and rockets up the
driveway, a guard in hot pursuit. Cameras flash. The crowd
behind him explodes into a blend of cheers and boos. This was
what they were all waiting for.
39 INT. PRIME MANOR - GUARD HOUSE - CONTINUOUS 39
We are suddenly watching Junior on a block of security screens. An elderly guard groans as he gets up and grabs an air-rifle from a wall rack. Unhurried, he ambles back to the screens, waiting a moment before hitting a big red button.40 EXT. PRIME MANOR GROUNDS - CONTINUOUS 40
A net suddenly falls from a tree. Like clockwork a sprinting Junior is perfectly caught up in it, slowing to a shimmy.POP. He is hit in the buttocks with a tranquilliser dart, rapidly losing function as, after a few more steps, he flops on to the ground.We hear a groan from the crowd followed by a cheer. Junior woozily leans up to see that a well dressed woman has already stepped out of the car. It's Rachel. She smiles benignly as she briskly walks to the front door.JUNIOR (slurring)RACHEL! IT'S ME! I'M BACK!His voice is drowned out by the crowd. The other door opens and John Prime steps out, pope-waving.The elderly guard walks up, sympathetically tipping his cap.ELDERLY GUARD You can't just keep doing the sameold thing, son. Gotta move you on, give John and Rachel their space.Another guard wanders over. Before passing out, Junior desperately makes eye contact with Prime. A moment of connection as he shuts the front door.41 INT. POLICE STATION - TEMPORARY HOLDING CELL - NIGHT 41 Junior is sitting on a bench, sullen and exhausted.
38.
A click as the door swings open and a corrections officer
appears, standing aside to make way for MARTY (30s) dressed in
scrubs. She's frazzled with post-late-shift energy.
MARTY
Oh no, no I can't believe-
(rushing over to him)
Hey it's me. It's Marty. Actually it's Martina, but you call me Marty. It's like an in-joke. An us thing.
She takes his hand in hers and smiles comfortingly. Junior
looks puzzled, he has never met this woman in his life.
MARTY (cont'd)
Your timing was just- ach, I'm sorry,
I've always been able to sponsor you
at the door but this stupid work
thing came up and I had to ask your-
JUNIOR? (slowly shaking head)
You're not my sponsor...
She looks down to read his number. Shit. This one isn't Junior. The guard clears his throat, nodding towards the actual Junior, sat on a different bench, even more frightened and exhausted, hugging his knees to his chest. He's still high on tranquilliser juice.
MARTY
Oh craps...
She scrambles for a flyer in her handbag and hands it
abruptly to this different John. He stares at it, puzzled.
MARTY (cont'd)
Everything's gonna be okay, okay?
She runs over to Junior and takes his hand.
MARTY (cont'd)
Ditto. Come on.
42 INT. MARTY'S CAR - LATER 42
A numb Junior is sat in the passenger seat as Marty
navigates the evening traffic.
MARTY
-so the operating stats finally started
showing up on the instrument display but
now they weren't on the twin monitor-
39.
(MORE)
MARTY (cont'd)
(sighs)
Typical radiology department drama.
JUNIOR
(still stoned)
That's... like a medical thing? Right?
MARTY
No silly, its a radio thing. I'm like
a radio historian.
JOHN
Oh. Right.
Marty starts laughing. The car comes to a stop at the light.
MARTY
Gets you every time. Ugh- Thank you.
What a day. For all two of us.
(Squeezing his knee)
It's okay now though, I'm here.
SLAP! Window Washer John is back at it.
MARTY (cont'd)
Oh, grab me some coins out of the
glove box.
Junior opens the glove box, pulls out a couple of pound
coins and hands them to her. She passes them through the
window to the John, along with a flyer from a pile.
MARTY (cont'd)
Thanks, my love. And I want to see
you at group tomorrow, yeah?
WINDOW WASHER JOHN
Okay Marty. Will do.
She continues to drive on, smiling to herself.
MARTY
It's great having you around. You
know- everywhere. Especially as-
well, not to toot my own horn but I'm
pretty important to you. I organise a
lot in the community.
Junior looks down at the pile of flyers. It's upside down
but he can make out some of the details.
40.
MARTY (cont'd)
I know our work has done John- you
met earlier- I know it's done him worlds of good. Especially since his whole 'Ikea' incident.
Junior looks up, not sure what she means.
MARTY (cont'd)
He was- all Johns in the warehouse
there were let go, for fighting at
work.
Junior thinks for a moment, a sad realisation.
JUNIOR
Oh God. My job... I'm not at Frontica?
MARTY
I mean, probably. One of you. But not
you, no. Worry not though, there's
plenty of employers who accept work-
permits from Johns.
(realising)
Which- that was probably in your box...
JUNIOR
No. Fuck. Rach's charger was in that
box!
We don't use the 'R' word. House rule.
Take it from me, I know how hard it is
to have things constantly remind you
of your ex.
Junior shakes his head like he's just sniffed pepper.
JUNIOR
She's not my ex. We're still together.
It's just... more complicated between
us right now but-
MARTY (mimicking his accent)
Com-pli—cated. I get complicated, I love complicated! I live with you.
MARTY
(wincing)
41.
43 INT. MARTY'S FLAT - LATER 43
We hear the door unlock and Marty walks in. Junior, still
high, follows quietly behind. She plops her keys down on the
counter of the open-plan kitchen/living room.
MARTY
Now you're going to have to sleep on
the couch to begin with, but
hopefully we'll be able to find a
more comfortable solution later.
A ’Welcome Home John’ cake sits on the counter, although it
reads 'Welcome Home Jo-' as a slice has already been cut out.
MARTY (cont'd)
Right, well. That was supposed to be
for you, but it would seem somebody
got confused.
JUNIOR
(suddenly nervous)
So that other me? He...
Marty loosely gestures down the corridor, taking her coat off.
MARTY
Yeah. First on the right. My room's
after that, then Omar at the back.
You'll get to meet him in the morning I
expect. Maybe Chris too if he's over.
JUNIOR
...Okay.
Marty misreads his existential horror, stepping closer as
she mindlessly removes her bra under her shirt, pulling it
from her sleeve and tossing it in the corner.
MARTY
Look, you're going to be all awkward
about this and there's no need. You
belong here already so- make yourself
at home. Bathroom's just down there.
Have one of your famous long showers,
those baby soaps you like are all
there on the side.
She beams at him. Junior doesn't quite know what to say.
JUNIOR
Thank you... uh- Martina?
42.
MARTY
Marty. You call me Marty.
JUNIOR
But I don't know you.
Marty just smiles a little knowingly. She sits down on the
sofa and taps the bedding with her hand, as if to invite him
to join her. Its weirdly intimate.
MARTY
Hey. It's okay.
Junior cautiously sits next to her. She starts to floss.
MARTY (cont'd)
I know you. Everyone knows you, John.
You're the London man having the bad
time thing-y. And when I first
arrived here, I was that too. I was
alone. But everywhere I turned, you
were there for me. Like a club. And
now I'm part of you.
(hears that back)
No that's creepy. What I mean is, I
like that I can be there for you too.
Junior slowly nods, trying to unwind that.
MARTY (cont'd)
You and me. We go way back now. We're
Doc and Marty, we finish each other's...
She pauses, waiting for him to say "sentences".
JUNIOR
Doc?
MARTY
Don't worry about it. You'll catch up.
(she springs up)
I'm bushed. Welcome home, John. Knock
if you need anything.
And with that she disappears down the corridor, leaving
Junior alone, unsure what to do. He leans to peer down the
corridor. We see Marty waving as she closes the door. But
it's not where his eyes are drawn.
The door on the right is slightly ajar, a crack of light
streams out. Like a hapless teen in a horror movie, Junior
makes his way over: equal parts repulsed and drawn in.
43.
Peering into the room he can see himself, lying on the bed
fast asleep, the bedside light still switched on.
Junior carefully pushes the door open and enters. It's a
small, messy room. There are photos and trinkets of his
relationship dotted around. For now, though, Senior looks
peaceful and out-cold.
Junior recognises a familiar cardboard box at the end of the
bed. He carefully lifts it. Staring at Senior the whole time.
He holds for a beat. The fear and revulsion seems to give
way to quiet pity for a moment. He reaches down and switches
off the bedside lamp, before slipping back out of the room.
44 INT. MARTY'S FLAT - SHORTLY AFTER 44
Junior has Senior's box on the coffee table in front of the
sofa. He opens it. A bunch of clothes. A book. Underneath it
he registers something else.
He slowly pulls out a phone charger. Little glittery
stickers on the outside of it read: RACHEL
His heart sinks.
WE FLASH BACK TO JOHN WATCHING RACHEL AS SHE SLEEPS IN THEIR
BED. HEAD ON A PILLOW, SHE OPENS HER EYES TO CAMERA.
MATCH CUT TO:
45 INT. MARTY'S FLAT - SENIOR'S ROOM - EARLY MORNING 45
SENIOR HAS JUST WOKEN UP, HIS HEAD ON A CRUMMY PILLOW,
MEETING RACHEL'S EYELINE.
She's not there. He hears a shower running.
46 INT. BATHROOM - LATER 46
Junior is in the shower, letting the water cascade over him.
He's unwrapping a new soap. Outside we hear a commotion.
THUD! The door suddenly swings open and the shower curtain
is pulled back. It's Senior.
SENIOR
Don't touch my shit you absolute
TWAT!
Junior tries to gather the curtain to hide his modesty.
44.
What the f-
Oh and are those my special
soaps?
JUNIOR
Marty said they're for me!
SENIOR
Are they fuck. AND you're using my
towel? Perfect. You think just because you're the new me you can take what's mine? Don't touch my stuff, and DEFINITELY don't touch our- Rachel and my's stuff. Worry about your own box and don't even think about-
JUNIOR
(faintly)
JUNIOR SENIOR
-I don't have my own box...
Senior's anger deflates a little.
SENIOR
What did you say?!
JUNIOR
I lost everything... I threw it away. I
threw it all away. (starting to ugly cry)
And nothing makes any sense any more.
There's a million of me so who the
fuck am I?-
SENIOR
Oh no, no no- stop crying or-
Seeing himself cry, Senior can't hold back. Tearing up.
JUNIOR
(wailing)
-and they cocked up my number and the
water pressure's not great and I'm
shouting at myself and you keep
looking at my dick and I just want to
go back home but everything’s fucked!
Senior and a naked Junior just stand, weeping at each other.
PRIME (O.S.)
I didn't know I could be so happy.
45.
47 INT. MARTY'S FLAT - LIVING ROOM - LATER 47
We are watching Reality TV. John Prime is wearing a blinding
white tuxedo, giving a to-camera confessional.
PRIME
It's been a long road, but we made
it. This is truly a dream come true.
Back in the flat, Junior and Senior are sitting on the
couch, eyes still stained red from their earlier cry,
transfixed on the show. They're each eating a plate of
'Welcome Home John' cake.
We hear a cheesy rendition of the wedding march coming from
the TV. Senior looks over at Junior, knowing what's coming.
Junior gasps a little at what he sees.
JUNIOR
Oh my God...
Senior smiles and nods knowingly.
Rachel, in a beautiful white dress, is being walked down the
aisle by her father, Rob. This destination wedding is
enormous. The guest list is a Who's who of 'Who?', a mixture
of glossy celebrities, family, Kosh and other Johns. IDRIS
ELBA is officiating. Rachel arrives at Prime's side. They
beam at each other.
IDRIS ELBA
It's my honour and privilege to bring
John Prime and Rachel Lawrence
together in holy matrimony. John,
would you read your vows?
Prime clumsily unfolds a small piece of paper. Back in the
room Senior starts mouthing along.
PRIME (O.C.)
My Rachel. I knew from the day we met
at Ben Sanders' party that you were
the one. I truly am the luckiest me
in the world. I can't possibly
imagine myself without you.
On screen Rachel takes out her own piece of paper and reads.
RACHEL
My one and only. It's been a long,
complicated road, hasn't it? Ups and
downs. Some vortexes.
(MORE)
46.
RACHEL (cont'd)
(slight crowd laugh)
And whatever other mad science-y
things might happen to us all over
again, we'll make them work too.
Together. I love you times a thousand.
Junior's gaze softens. He mouths 'I love you Shmoo' back.
IDRIS ELBA
You may now kiss the bride.
Prime and Rachel's lips meet, the crowd rises in applause. A
violin quartet plays 'Back For Good'. Fade to credits.
A long pause as they sit in silence. Senior sniffs.
SENIOR
Season 2 is where it really gets
going.
He reaches for the controller and clicks. We hear the
Netflix sound and the show intro. Junior seems distressed.
JUNIOR (processing, watching)
Wow. It’s- it's-
SENIOR
It's perfect. We're perfect.
JUNIOR
-Oh God was this all my fault? Maybe
If I'd never left in the first place-
SENIOR
-We'd be together right now-
JUNIOR
We are- but that's not me- but it is-
it’s- help me, this is so complicated.
Help me figure this out.
SENIOR
I think you seriously misunderstand our
relationship. When I figure this out
you will not be part of the equation.
Senior hears a door open down the corridor and fumbles at
the controller, hurriedly changing the channel to QVC. An
uncomfortable John with a face-mic is trying to sell some
knives. He's not good at it.
47.
QVC JOHN
That's right, Kirsty. A knife for
every day of the week. Really makes-
Marty enters on her way to the shower.
MARTY
Look at this! You guys bonding?
Senior spins around, eyes wet, trying to look nonchalant.
SENIOR
Gross. No.
Junior is glued to the TV, we watch it with him.
48 INT. MARTY'S
QVC JOHN
And if you're watching, happy
anniversary Rach, I'm so proud of us.
Please call, please, my personal
phone number is 07921-
FLAT - KITCHENETTE - LATER 48
Junior and Marty are sat at the kitchenette table while
Senior busies himself at the stove. Junior looks lost,
staring at a jar in the centre of the table full of loose
cash. The label reads: "THE 'R' JAR".
MARTY
You look good, like you again.
Starting to settle in?
JUNIOR
I'm still trying to- it's like this
isn't me, or who I'm supposed to be? Or...
MARTY
Yeah, that's just the time
difference. Jet-lag... whatever. Your
rhythms will catch up. Breakfast
helps. You just need some of your
incredible crepes in you.
She shivers in delight at the sense-memory of the crepes.
MARTY (cont'd)
There's maple in the batter.
JUNIOR
Senior serves a perfect crepe with chopped bananas to Marty.
I know.
48.
MARTY
Thank you so much, John.
(to Junior)
I really mean it, John. Your cooking
is next level.
JUNIOR
Thanks.
MARTY
(smiling)
Jynx.
MARTY
Junior it is.
JUNIOR
What- wait, no I really
prefer John.
SENIOR
(to Marty)
John's fine.
SENIOR
Thanks.
SENIOR
(to Marty)
Oh no, he can be the Junior
this time. It's only fair. I
was Junior last time.
MARTY
(to Senior, playfully)
So does that make you Senior now?
JUNIOR
(to Marty, processing)
Hold on- how many of us have
you had?
MARTY
-Who's counting. Sofa's real comfy
right? My first John found this down
by the bins. Perfectly intact. How
crazy is that?
OMAR, one of Marty's other flatmates, walks in. He has a
giant mug that says 'HALF JOHN-A-THON FUN RUN'.
OMAR
Heyyy, the new you!
Omar places his hand on Junior's shoulder, shaking him
around a bit. He's clearly very comfortable with Johns.
OMAR (cont'd)
Omar, nice to re-meet you man.
SENIOR
Crepe mate? Its ready.
OMAR.
Oooh go on. Can I take it to go?
Omar holds out a half-folded newspaper and John slips the
crepe into it and hands him a fork.
49.
OMAR MARTY Cheers babe. Bring the fork back.
Omar winks, nods and barrels swiftly out of the door.
SENIOR
What a legend.
The door slams. Senior surveys the cooking station.
SENIOR (cont'd)
Whoops. Looks like we're out of
batter. Better luck next time,
Junior.
He turns, smiling and shrugging at Marty and Junior. Marty
isn't having any of this.
MARTY
Oi! Quit being a fuckhead.
SENIOR
Eesh. Sorry! I'll make more batter.
MARTY
You know that's not what I mean.
JUNIOR
(half standing up)
No it's okay, I do actually
know how to make them.
JUNIOR
Really, I-
SENIOR
(laboured)
Coming right up.
SENIOR
(aggravated grunt)
No you'll pull a you and mess
everything up.
MARTY
He's not messed anything up.
(to Junior)
Can you remind me to remind you to
bring this up in group tonight?
A clang from the kitchen counter.
SENIOR (O.C.)
(feigning enthusiasm)
Oh wow. Is it Tuesday already?
JUNIOR
What group?
50.
49 INT. CHURCH HALL - JOHNONYMOUS SUPPORT GROUP - LATER
49
We are looking at a sign that reads 'JOHNS SUPPORT THEMSELVES.'
On a table off to the side we see a pile of Kosh's business
cards and a plate of Hobnobs. A numbered hand takes a glove
from a bowl of right-handed gloves.
MARTY (O.C)
Take a seat everyone. A lot of
familiar faces, this is so great.
Thank you all for coming.
A seated Junior pulls on a glove, concealing his messed-up
tattoo. He takes in the room around him. There are other
Johns sitting in a circle of chairs, each wearing a glove
over their number. Marty, the only non-John, is standing.
MARTY
Welcome to Johnonymous. A community
led temporal alien support circle. We're not an I group. We're an us group. A safe space to 'be' together. I'm Marty; we go way back. Let's start to my left.
The John to Marty's left looks up, awkwardly clears his
throat and stands. It's Window Washer John.
WINDOW WASHER JOHN
Thanks Marty, uh- Hi, I'm John. I
accept my relocation to the now.
THE ROOM
(In unison)
Welcome Home John.
WINDOW WASHER JOHN
Yeah- So I'm making this meal for the
family that's been sponsoring me. The
daughter's vegan and I was- I
couldn't remember the name of the
Chef Rach loves. Her recipe guy- from
when we did that 'No Meat March'
thing...
JOHN VOICES
(Staggered)
The Vegan Demon.
Marty is already pinching the bridge of her nose.
WINDOW WASHER JOHN
Demon! That's the bloke. Cool. Cheers.
51.
And with that Window Washer John sits down.
SURLY JOHN WINDOW WASHER JOHN How could you forget that? It was just a brain fart!
Meanwhile, Junior notices that Senior is playing with his
phone, silently scrolling through obnoxiously lavish moments
from PrimeTime's Insta. We see hundreds of comments from
various Johns. Clocking his interest, Senior turns the
screen ever so slightly towards Junior. They share.
SURLIER JOHN
It was the demon dip. With the smoked
aubergines, you mess that up too?
MARTY
Hey! He's not messed anything up. He's-
(looking for Junior)
-that was it, Junior you were
supposed to remind me about-
She spots Junior and Senior looking at Senior's phone.
MARTY (cont'd)
Oh come on, no phones John. You know
the rules.
Senior looks up to see Marty coming over.
SENIOR
Just- making notes. Sorry.
Hiding the phone he fat-fingers a video and sounds of the
happy couple echo throughout the space. The group all starts
to look depressed. Senior finally gets it to stop.
MARTY
John. You've got to unfollow your
past.
SENIOR
No it's- I was just-
(pointing to Junior)
It's his fault.
JUNIOR
What?
MARTY
It's not. Stand up real quick. I've
got something new.
Senior cautiously stands as she jogs to a table behind her
and grabs a folded cardboard cut-out.
52.
MARTY (cont'd)
Blaming yourself gets us nowhere.
You've got to think differently.
She walks it into the circle, unfolding it upright.
MARTY (cont'd)
See this spacetime thingy as an
opportunity. The space to find who
you are, and the time to find out who
you're supposed to be.
She spins it
our Lives' marketing display. The Johns gasp and murmur.
MARTY (cont'd)
You need to look at what's standing
right in front of you. I'm here,
you're safe.
We hear a slight murmur from the room as Marty struggles to
keep it upright. Senior cannot fathom what's happening, he
looks over to Junior who mirrors his expression.
SENIOR
Wait- you want me to-
MARTY
Like they're here, or you're- I'm not
sure, just speak your truth and let's
hear how it sounds.
Senior and Marty share a quiet beat, he turns to the standee.
SENIOR
Umm... Okay. Well.
(thinking)
Hey Rach. I hope you're well... I-
(breaking)
I can't. This is too weird.
The Johns are starting to laugh.
MARTY
Come on! This is a support group. WE
SUPPORT EACH OTHER HERE. You can swap
stories about your ex at the pub.
A beat. The room is silent. Then in the back we hear-
SURLY JOHN (O.C.)
She's not my ex, it's just...
around. It's Rachel, salvaged from a 'Prime of
53.
Marty shushes him, her eyes turn to Senior. He stands there
a while, looking at Rachel's frozen smile.
THERAPY JOHN (O.C)
(mock Rachel voice)
I luuurve you Shmoo.
A few chuckles from the circle. Senior sighs and tries again.
Junior stares on, threatened at what this means for him.
SENIOR
You look good. Shinier than I
remember. It's been a good while
since- Um. I love the show? I'm so
proud of you, I knew we were destined
for something big. At least I did- I
should have-
Marty pointedly clears her throat. The longer Senior stares
at the cardboard Rachel, the more he notices Prime's hand
around her. He's been cut out.
SENIOR (cont'd)
But I'm happy you're happy. That
somewhere out there we're still- us.
I'm just so sorry that- I broke
everything between me and you.
Junior's breathing becomes erratic. Senior's too. Marty is
suddenly unsure.
SENIOR (cont'd)
I should have just- you're the smart
one. You're the one who makes sure we
read the books and- I just needed to
keep believing in that same future you
were. If I could just walk through our
front door again I know you'd- God,
it's like I've tried everything I can
to get back to you, and if not-
(the damn bursts)
...then I know another me has.
This sets off a chain reaction, a grief-splosion of repressed
pain as Junior and the other Johns bursts into an ugly cry.
MARTY
Oh- Okay. Maybe we need to-
SENIOR
You never gave up on us and I'm not
going to now either. No matter how
difficult, and lonely and- it doesn't
matter. We're who I'm supposed to be.
(MORE)
54.
SENIOR (cont'd)
I'm not going anywhere Shmoo. I don't
make sense without you.
Marty takes in the collective meltdown around her. A
catastrophic symphony of wailing self-pity.
This did not go as planned.
50 EXT. RACHEL'S PUB AND RESTAURANT - LATER 50
A red neon sign that reads 'RACHEL'S' illuminates the building that used to be the Golden Sun Buffet. Out front we see a John refusing to share a cigarette with another John.KOSH (O.S.) See, it's like I said. You're thatscience cat shitting in the box. Or- was it dying? Either way-51 INT. RACHEL'S PUB AND RESTAURANT - CONTINUOUS 51
This place is a gimmicky nightmare, like an Irish theme pub devoted entirely to Prime of our Lives 'memorabilia'. It's clearly popular with Johns as it's packed with them.
At the bar we see Kosh drinking with a CLIENT JOHN.KOSH (CONT'D) The science cat's gotta pick a box, oraccept the box you picked for him or- it's like, where's that box going? Yeah?CLIENT JOHN (to the bar)Two more Rachel-tini's please.KOSH I think I know mate. And I think,deep down, you know too. I'm here to- Senior sidles up to the bar, his black eye on display.SENIOR Hey, Kosh I was just wondering if-CLIENT JOHN (pleading, to Kosh)Oh no- you know I don't like hearing the sound of my own voice.
55.
SENIOR
Yeah, no- exactly- but I just need to
feel like myself again right now.
CLIENT JOHN
Sorry fight-club, this is my slot-
C'mon Kosh back me up.
KOSH
(weary, to Senior)
I'm sorry mate, there's a system.
SENIOR
Yeah of course, it's just- you think
we could go doubles on this session?
Or I could just watch?
MARTY (O.C)
Look he’s not getting over this, as
his sponsor this hurts to say but,
between you and me, I just don’t
think it’s happening for him.
We cut across the room to find Marty sat opposite Junior in
a booth. She's looking over at the bar. Junior is blankly
staring down at the blue 'Rachel-tini' in front of him.
MARTY
And then to bring us here. I had an
inkling but- what do you think? What
are you thinking right now?
Junior slowly looks up, totally overwhelmed.
JUNIOR
This used to be a Pizza-hut.
Behind him a framed photo of he and Rachel in their
graduation gowns and mortar-boards.
Marty isn't comfortable here.
MARTY
Well the past is the past and this is
fucking depressing. Shall we just
move on?
She places her hand over his. Junior retracts it.
JUNIOR
Jesus, who ARE you? We JUST met! And
the past? That was literally
yesterday.
(MORE)
56.
JUNIOR (cont'd)
And the day before that this place
was a Chinese buffet and before that
it was a- WHO CARES- I didn't know
who you were then either! Okay?!
She casually waves it all away.
MARTY
You're right. I'm so used to this,
and you've only- let's just start
again, again?
(holds out her hand)
Hey. I'm Martina. But you can call me Marty... if that works for you.
Junior looks down at her hand cautiously. He looks back at
the earnestly smiling Marty. She means well.
JUNIOR
'Cause we go way back? Right?
Marty's smile spreads.
MARTY
Sure do, Doc.
He shakes her hand, unsure about the nickname.
JUNIOR
Okay Marty. Pleased to meet you...
again. I'm- I am glad you're here, I don't know who else I'd- I need help.
(looking around)
I'm honestly scared to finally say it
out loud- in here, this is going to
sound a little...
MARTY
(leaning in, hushed)
It's okay. Use me. Let me help.
JUNIOR
Is there... some kind of talisman?
Like, a time-crystal I have to piece
back together or something?
Marty bursts out with surprised laughter.
MARTY
Talismans. Jesus. Haven't heard that in
a while.
Marty has pulled out a pamphlet from her handbag.
57.
JUNIOR
Don't laugh, I'm being serious here.
MARTY
(reading)
"Disorientation and ideations of
returning are experiences commonly
associated with" -how far did you get
in these hand-outs, Junior?
JUNIOR
(frustrated)
I'm not- Junior, I'm John. I'm still
me. My whole life is still out there,
right now, if Rach and I could just
figure this out together-
MARTY
(groaning)
Look there's like a thousand of you
and one of her. I'm sorry if this
hurts to hear, but she doesn't need
you any more. She's got a John
already, what about his feelings?
JUNIOR
I could care less about his feelings.
He's not part of the equation.
MARTY
Well other people care. They wouldn't
like hearing you say that.
His eyes drift down to a brochure on the napkin stand. On it
is a holiday photo of John, Rachel and her parents Carol and
Rob. All smiling. Text reads: 'POP OVER FOR SUNDAY LUNCH'
'TERMS AND CONDITIONS APPLY'.
JUNIOR
-Oh my God. What the hell is this?
MARTY
Hm? Oh. yeah. They're sweet.
JUNIOR
You've met them? Of course you've met
her parents. What is this?
MARTY
I don't think you'll get much out of-
JUNIOR
(reading, ignoring)
There's a minibus?!
58.
MARTY
(sighing)
This isn't going to go how you want
it to.
JUNIOR
(pointing at image)
This is me. They know me. You want
to help? Help.
Marty looks at him, struggling with the request.
FADE TO:
52 INT. RACHEL'S PARENT'S HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - DAYS LATER 52
Junior is by himself, looking at the same graduation photo.
It's resting on a piano alongside others of Rachel as a child.
He steps forward to face Carol and Rob, seemingly waiting.
JUNIOR
Carol, Rob. Hi!
CAROL
(opening her arms)
Hello, darling.
ROB
Johnny.
JUNIOR
Thank you. I haven't seen you since...
since Easter, right?
He enters her embrace.
CAROL
Yes. Of course. Easter.
JUNIOR
...How are you?
ROB
Oh you know. Same same.
An awkward beat. Carol plods on.
CAROL
It means a lot to us that you've come
by, John. Now I know you don't want to
hear this, and I've said it a thousand
times, but it's all going to be okay.
59.
JUNIOR
Yes. Thank you. I'm here about that
actually, I was hoping we could-
Knowing where this is going, Rob slaps Junior's arm, raising
his own wrist to reveal a reasonably nice looking watch.
ROB
Still winding up the way we learned?
A little thrown, Junior hurriedly raises his own wrist.
Revealing a similar, if slightly less nice looking, watch.
JUNIOR
Of course Rob. Every morning.
ROB
(leans in, winks)
Good man. And don't worry about the
watch. I understand.
JUNIOR
I'm sorry?
CAROL
Now pop over to the kitchen and help
yourself to a Cornetto from the
freezer. Rob's got them special from
the Cash and Carry.
Carol parts his hair the other way, looking over his shoulder.
CAROL (cont'd)
Go on. We'll be around in a flash.
Junior gives a defeated nod. Shuffling away. Except that wasn't Junior.
We reveal a queue of other Johns behind him. The real Junior at the head of it, a nonplussed Marty beside him.
JUNIOR
Carol, Rob.
CAROL
(a little worn)
Hello, darling.
ROB
Johnny.
Carol opens her arms, but this time Marty steps into them.
60.
MARTY
Hey. Good to see you again.
CAROL
Goodness- yes. Um-
MARTY
Martina. Sponsor.
ROB
Martina! Of course. That was it.
CAROL
Would you like a Cornetto as well
Martina?
MARTY
In the back, yeah?
She breezes into the kitchen, utterly familiar with it.
Junior stands there awkwardly, clearing his throat.
JUNIOR
(recovering)
Thank you. You're both- you're such
an important part of our lives, Rach
and me, and I don't understand what's
happening yet, but we're really going
to need your-
Marty has poked her head from around the kitchen.
MARTY
(interrupting)
Junior you want a Cornetto?
This is not going how Junior wants it to go.
ROB
(looking about)
Who on earth is Junior?
RACHEL (O.S.)
Come on this is so cooorrny!
53 EXT. RACHEL'S PARENT'S HOUSE - BACK GARDEN - MANY YEARS AGO 53
Rachel and John are standing beside the tool shed at the end
of the garden. They look young. Happy. He's wearing a goofy
trench coat, carving 'R+J' into the wooden exterior.
61.
JOHN
No it's really cool, actually. And I
should know, because I am cool.
RACHEL
Give me the knife, Morpheus.
She grabs the pen-knife off him and takes over the job.
RACHEL (cont'd)
If you were as cool as all that,
you'd know not to bend at the wrist.
JOHN
Oh fuck is that your dad's car?
RACHEL
What?!
She spins around to look towards the driveway, right into
his waiting lips. Smooth. She giggles as they kiss.
SUDDENLY ANOTHER JOHN STEPS OUT FROM BEHIND THEM AND SPEAKS
DIRECTLY TO CAMERA.
Oi!
QUEUE JOHN
54 EXT. RACHEL'S PARENTS HOUSE - BACK GARDEN - PRESENT DAY 54
Junior is pulled out of the memory. He has one hand on the
aged engraving, feeling it gently.
A queue of Johns is behind him. Each has their own Cornetto.
QUEUE JOHN
I'd also like to experience the shed
at some point today.
MARTY (O.C.)
JUNIOR! YOU OUT HERE?
Junior looks over to see Marty appear out of the back door,
scanning the garden.
MARTY
RAISE YOUR HAND IF YOU ARE!
Junior sidles away, picking up the pace and ducking around
the side of the house towards-
MATCH CUT TO:
62.
55 EXT. RACHEL’S PARENTS HOUSE - SIDE ACCESS - CONTINUOUS 55
-where he immediately bumps into Carol, smoking a cigarette
by the wheelie bins. Caught off guard she attempts to
conceal it, before giving up and offering it up to him.
CAROL
Oh sod it.
Junior, very confused, clasps it unconvincingly.
CAROL (cont'd)
Terrible, dirty things. Don't make a
habit out of it, okay?
Junior takes a virgin drag and coughs.
JUNIOR
Thank you. It's nice to be back.
CAROL
It's nice having you. It's not just
about the tax rebate.
He hands the cigarette back.
JUNIOR
So- does she come back often?
CAROL
The production rolls in a few times a
year.
JUNIOR
Can you let me know when? If that's
not too much to ask?
CAROL
It is, but it's never stopped you
asking before.
Junior looks hurt. Carol smiles knowingly at Junior.
CAROL (cont'd)
We get awfully good at pretending,
don't we? Well, we try.
JUNIOR
No- Carol, I'm not pretending. It's
me- real me- it's Johnny-
63.
CAROL
(genuinely)
Oh darling I know. And I'm so sorry
for how everything's turned out. We
don't want to lose touch, and you'll
always be welcome in our lives. Every
third Sunday.
Carol reaches out and touches Junior's arm.
JUNIOR
Please. What am I supposed to do?
CAROL
Well, You usually head upstairs.
56 INT. RACHEL'S PARENT'S HOUSE - STAIRWELL - SHORTLY AFTER 56
A sullen Junior slowly makes his way up the stairs, looking at various pictures on the wall. Him and Rachel with her family on holiday. Another graduation photo. The Christmas where he got his wristwatch. Artefacts of a life shared.He hears crying. Following the sound he enters-57 INT. RACHEL'S PARENT'S HOUSE - RACHEL'S BEDROOM - CONTINUOUS 57
A bearded John is sat on the single bed, caressing a goofy sixth-form photo of him and Rachel. He's weeping in a comically overwrought manner. Marty is sat beside him, not into this.BEARD JOHN We're so happy here...MARTY (playing with phone)Yeah, I know how you feel. He takes the waterworks up a notch, dropping the photo.BEARD JOHN Nobody does!Beard John runs out of the room, pushing past a very out-of- sorts Junior. It's deeply cringe. Marty examines him a beat.
Junior?
I guess...
MARTY JUNIOR
64.
MARTY
Fucking finally.
JUNIOR
(looking back)
I'm not like that, am I?
MARTY
I told you it was a bad look.
(eyes light up)
And you know what else is?
She springs up and bounds over to Rachel's cupboard, pulling
out the trench coat we saw earlier.
MARTY (cont'd)
This is yours, right? The stupid
matrix coat?
Junior doesn't look up as he's drawn towards the bed.
JUNIOR
Please stop touching things.
MARTY
We were so drunk when you finally had
the courage to share a photo.
(drunk John voice)
"It's called being cool actually"
JUNIOR
Uh-huh...
MARTY
Do you reckon they'll mind if we have
you try it on for another one? I need
a new wallpaper for my phone.
She turns around, Junior is holding the same photograph.
It's too late, he's already getting dusty eyed.
MARTY (cont'd)
Oh- for fuck's sake. You just saw how
this looks. Is that who you are?
JUNIOR
(pointing at photo)
This is me! I'm me.
MARTY
That's literally a photo of someone
else.
This hits Junior like a tonne of bricks.
65.
JUNIOR
Then who the fuck am I?
Finally. Marty gets excited.
MARTY
We get to figure that out! I've had to
do it before. I know it seems
impossible but it's not.
Junior shakes his head, that's impossible. Marty bends down.
Perhaps this is the moment she wanted.
58 EXT. OUTSIDE
MARTY
No you literally just can.
JUNIOR
I don't think you're using that word
right this time.
MARTY
No I am, I'm asking... do you want to
meet the John I know who has?
PLAYHOUSE - EVENING - DAYS LATER 58
JUNIOR
Even if I wanted to, I-
You can.
...I can't.
MARTY
JUNIOR
We are looking at an amateur theatre space. There is a small
line of people down the street. The marquee reads: 'JOHN
MOVES IN' with 'WRITTEN AND DIRECTED BY JOHN 6'.
MARTY (O.C.)
It's been a good while since he moved
out but trust me, he really is special.
59 INT. PLAYHOUSE - EVENING - CONTINUOUS 59
Marty and Junior are all dressed up, shimmying down the aisle
to their seats. It's a decent audience turnout.
JUNIOR
Uh-huh, you keep mentioning that.
66.
MARTY
My heart melted when I heard about
his big break. This is so exciting.
You're a born performer.
JUNIOR
Yeah, what is this, exactly?
As they take their seats we see the stage. It's a small set
that appears to look a LOT like John and Rachel's old flat.
We see a recreation of their front door upstage centre.
MARTY
Like a one person show about your
life after the big... break. The new
you.
JUNIOR
And that's supposed to be my flat?
She leans over and delicately starts fixing his garish tie.
MARTY
Shh. No spoilers. I specifically
haven't- okay, cards on the table, I have this little inkling I might- come up. I'm pretty important to you and- it'll probably play as too meta- but what do I know. I'm just your-
(house lights go down) Eeek! It's starting!!
A spotlight pings down. A John steps into it, wearing a shirt with '#1' printed on the front. We shall refer to him as 'STAGE JOHN'. A flute offstage screeches a sharp note.
MARTY (cont'd)
(whisper shout)
That's him!!! That's John!!
Stage John holds the moment. It feels extremely pretentious.
STAGE JOHN
A door. A choice. A journey.
(a pose, flute note) Then? When? Now.
(another pose)
Who are we? Who. Am. I?
Darkness. A patter of feet as he runs behind the set. Over
the speakers we hear a staggered chorus of whispered voices:
67.
WHISPER VOICES (V.O.)
I don't know. I don't know. Who's at
the door? Who's at the door!!
The stage lights flick on with a 'boom'. The door pops open
and Stage John backs through holding the Fïssn box.
STAGE JOHN
Honey! I'm home!
(a long beat)
Honey? My life? Where have you gone?
Suddenly an actress playing Rachel enters stage left.
STAGE RACHEL
I'm here, Shmoo. You got my charger?
Junior's eyes widen. Her resemblance to Rachel is uncanny.
Marty's eyes do the opposite, she scrambles for the programme.
STAGE JOHN
(placing down the box)
I sure do. It's right here in this
box. I know how much it means to you.
STAGE RACHEL
What is that look on your face?
STAGE JOHN
It's love, my love. I'm so glad we're
back. I'm back. I finally feel like
myself again. Like ourselves again.
STAGE RACHEL
Yes AND I agree. Your space time from
me was a gift, we both learned that-
STAGE JOHN
If we love each other, we
can make it all work.
STAGE RACHEL
If we love each other, we
can make it all work.
STAGE RACHEL (cont'd)
(giggles)
Jynx.
Stage John gazes into Stage Rachel's eyes before going for a
passionate kiss. It's uncomfortably long in the silent
theatre. Junior is enthralled. Marty is not.
As if late on the cue the door at the rear of the stage
swings open and another actor enters. He's definitely not a
John, but he wears a shirt with '#2' written on it.
68.
STAGE JOHN 2
Honey! I'm ho-
STAGE JOHN STAGE JOHN 2 Who the hell are you!? Who the hell are you!?
STAGE RACHEL
What the hell is going on here?
STAGE JOHN 2 STAGE JOHN That's not me! NO! That's not ME!
STAGE JOHN 2
Rachel, call 999!
Junior puts his hand on his heart. Totally sucked in.
Suddenly STAGE JOHN 3 enters through the front door, '#3' on
her shirt. Despite being a woman she makes a convincing John.
STAGE JOHN 3
Honey, I'm ho- What on
Earth!?
STAGE JOHN 2
Yeah! Who on Earth are you!?
STAGE RACHEL
I'm calling 999!
STAGE RACHEL
What on Earth is going on
here?
STAGE JOHN 3
Yeah! Who on Earth are you!?
STAGE JOHN 3
Honey...!?
Enter STAGE JOHN 4, a very muscular actor who proudly belts
out the first notes of a song-
STAGE JOHN 4
(sung)
...I'm HOOOOOOOME!
The whole cast begins dancing and singing the opening number
of what is now revealed to be a musical.
60 INT. PLAYHOUSE - LATER 60
The finale. Stage John and Stage Rachel embrace, singing a
composite medley of 'Back For Good' with the 'Honey I'm Home'
leitmotif throughout.
The curtain falls, then rises as the entire cast bows to
light applause from the audience. It wasn't very good.
Stage John and Stage Rachel take their bow. Effusive, Junior
whistles and gives a standing ovation. Scattered about a few
other Johns have also risen to their feet.
69.
JUNIOR
(excited)
You're right! He's amazing!
Marty is stone faced, watching how Stage John and Stage
Rachel hold hands as they bow.
61 INT. BACKSTAGE - LATER 61
We see members of the cast jostling and hi-fiving. Marty
struggles to conceal her concern as she enters with Junior.
In the back we see Stage John, sweaty from the lights and
full of post-show adrenaline. Seeing Marty he momentarily
looks worried, but quickly hides it behind a showbiz grin.
Marty seems to do the same. Tentatively opening her arms.
STAGE JOHN (affected Biff voice)
McFly!!
(back to normal)
Oh my God Marty, no wayyyy it's soooo
good to see youuuuu.
They embrace in a way that's familiar but strained.
MARTY
You really... disappeared into the role
out there, Doc.
(stepping back)
John Prime, huh? I actually thought this would be more about your life, I was waiting for my character to-
STAGE JOHN
-Yeah. Wow. It's really you. Wow.
It's been- you look great. Like you.
(to Junior)
And who's this?
Junior is momentarily confounded by the question. Marty too.
She takes and double checks Junior's hand.
MARTY
This is Junior- uh, Ten-31.
JUNIOR
You can call me John.
Junior looks down at her hand on his. She isn't letting go.
70.
STAGE JOHN
(knowing, to Marty)
Outstanding. This is- a good look.
Looking at them, Stage John notices Junior's tie.
STAGE JOHN (cont'd)
You kept it! The Whitstable tie!
(to Junior)
She's told you the story?
MARTY
No. Um- No- Don't.
STAGE JOHN Oh! Okay. Right. Uh-
(to Junior)
Marty's a very, very special person.
You understand me, Junior? Don't pull a
you, here. Be the better man and-
(catching a glance)
Oh- Samantha!
Stage Rachel appears. Stage John slings his arm around her.
STAGE JOHN (cont'd)
Wasn't she incredible? Guys, meet
(winking)
'RACHEL'.
SAMANTHA
(playfully)
You know I don't like that offstage.
STAGE JOHN
Last time, I promise.
They share a platonic cheek-kiss. Marty bristles.
SAMANTHA
Hi. Thank you so, so much for your
support guys. It means the world.
Marty is frozen. Junior's attention is still on her hand
holding his.
STAGE JOHN
(reassuring)
Sam this is Marty. We go way back.
MARTY
Martina.
71.
SAMANTHA
(to Stage John)
Jonathan I was hoping we could-
STAGE JOHN
OH! Yeah- of course, the- thing.
(to Marty)
Thank you so much for coming. I don't
want to make it more weird than it
already is between us, but- It's just
so great to see us both moving on.
Marty is now squeezing Junior's hand very tightly.
62 INT. MARTY'S CAR - LATER 62
Marty is deathly silent, eyes on the road. Junior is in the passenger seat, unsure what to say.The car comes to a red light. Looking straight ahead, Marty starts to cry.JUNIOR Oh... hey- oh no. Is there-He cautiously reaches over and touches her shoulder. She turns in and kisses him desperately.
THUD! Window Washer John is back at it. They reel apart in shock.JUNIOR (cont'd) (apologetic)I'm sorry... I'm in a relationship. Something finally breaks inside Marty. We hold on her.NARRATOR (O.S) John was busy just being himself-63 INT. MARTY'S FLAT - LATER 63
Marty silently enters, bee-lining for the kitchenette. The front room is dark and empty but we hear the sound of 'Prime of our Lives' playing on the TV. It's the intro:
NARRATOR (O.C) -until one day the universe broke,and his family got a whole lot bigger. Now, with over a thousand miracles and counting it's going-
72.
Junior follows a little after, almost sneaking in. He
glances towards the TV. We see Rachel in a heart wipe.
NARRATOR (V.O.)
-to take the love of his life, and
their three closest time clones-
We see three Johns, jostling each other in a competitive
fashion. Little numbers appear above their heads: 4, 5, 7.
NARRATOR (V.O.) (cont'd)
-to get him through the day.
Back in the room, Marty is slowly pouring herself a glass of
water. Very slowly. Junior is scared to say anything.
NARRATOR (O.C)
It's complicated, but they make it
work. For John and Rachel this is the
Prime Of Their Lives.
We hear a toilet flush down the corridor. Prime and Rachel's
cooing voices fill the flat as Senior enters the front room.
SENIOR
Oh hey, how was the-
(registering the TV)
Ah- Look at that. It must have-
(turning it off)
Okay, you got me. Hold on.
Senior starts fishing around in his pocket, pulling out a
few coins. He walks over to the 'R JAR' and drops them in.
SENIOR (cont'd)
I know you're looking out for me, I
just, I get sad sometimes and-
Marty, her back still to the room, is crying. Senior looks
over to Junior, he's frozen.
SENIOR (cont'd)
Marty? Are you- is everything okay?
Marty spins, smashing the 'R JAR' on the floor. Senior jumps
back, totally confused. She faces him.
MARTY
You promised me it had nothing to do
with your ex!
73.
SENIOR
Woah. What?
(to Junior)
What did you do?!
MARTY
Who am I to you? What even are we?
SENIOR
I'm- I'm sorry? I don't-
Senior gives a frantic, ignorant look to Junior. A long beat.
JUNIOR
I'm sorry Marty. I don't know what to-
A panting Marty breathes in deeply, pulling the tears back
in. She slowly turns to face him.
MARTY
Why am I asking you? We're strangers.
I need space to... You have to leave.
Right now.
A beat. Omar casually enters the room, stops, smoothly turns
around and leaves.
She turns to Senior.
Ditto.
MARTY (cont'd)
64 INT. CORRIDOR OUTSIDE MARTY'S FLAT - LATER 64
The door slams. Junior is dazed. Senior looks at the box in
his hands and sucks his teeth.
SENIOR
I knew it. I knew you'd pull a you,
you clone fuck.
Senior turns to walk away. Junior scoffs.
JUNIOR
I didn't do any of this, Senior, I'm
just the one trying to get his life
back.
SENIOR
-It's pronounced John, bell-end, and
believe me I want to get my life back
even more than you do.
74.
JUNIOR
By watching TV and winging about baby-
soap? Bollocks. You've given up.
Senior wheels around, slamming the box down on the floor.
SENIOR
I've tried EVERYTHING! But as long as
you're around, I always end up on the
wrong side of the fucking door.
JUNIOR
There HAS to be a way.
SENIOR
There IS. NO. WAY. Some of us have
been here for years. One of us would
have figured it out already. You get
it?! Everything you do has already
been done. Even this conversation.
Senior walks back for his box. Junior starts to follow.
JUNIOR
Well then we're missing something. If
we love each other, we make it work.
Senior slumps, his back to us, looking down at the box.
SENIOR
Fuck... why'd you have to say that?
Senior slowly picks it up. Junior looks sullen.
JUNIOR
It's all I've got left.
A beat. Senior slowly rises. Repeating the words to himself.
JUNIOR (cont'd) Please. I need your help. I know I
can figure this out, I just...
SENIOR
(sighing)
Helping you will never make sense.
There's two of us and one of her.
You're not ever going to be part of
that equation.
JUNIOR
So... we've never tried?
A long beat. Senior slowly turns around. The penny drops.
75.
SENIOR
I don't... think so.
They scan each other up and down.
JUNIOR
So if we did... we'd be the first?
Another beat. Senior starts shaking his head.
JUNIOR (cont'd)
No, think about it. Alone we get
nowhere, we know that for sure. But
together, we might have a chance at a
different outcome.
SENIOR
Only one of us gets our life back.
JUNIOR
We cross that bridge when we come to
it.
So you're fine with me screwing you
over at the end of all this.
JUNIOR
Let's focus on screwing over Prime
first.
Senior lets off a little smirk. Junior slowly steps forward.
SENIOR
So- how do we do that?
Junior puts out his hand to shake. Senior looks cautiously at
it, noticing the watch on Junior's wrist, he takes his hand.
MATCH CUT TO:
65 INT. BEST ONES! CORNER-SHOP - NEXT DAY 65
Senior slams Junior's hand down on the counter. Avo leans
in, twisting Junior's arm to look at his watch.
AVO
I'll give you 350.
We see a plinth of 'authentic' cloned watches among other
assorted John-centric merchandise and 'Mind The Gap' hoodies.
Junior twists his wrist out of Avo's grip.
SENIOR
(a beat)
76.
JUNIOR
(to Senior)
What are you doing!?
SENIOR
(to Avo)
Come on! This was a
Christmas present!
AVO
They all are. Supply and demand my
friend. More watches, lower prices.
JUNIOR
I'm not selling Mr Laurence's prolex.
SENIOR
-See, look how you've upset him! We're
like a son to him.
AVO
Do you want the cash or not?
Senior grabs a hat off a rack.
SENIOR
Fine, but throw in some tat.
AVO
Deal. You want real money? I'll take
that box you've got. That's a BIG
collector's item, get you six times
the price.
Senior shakes his head. No way. Avo sucks his teeth, shrugs
and starts counting out cash, prompting Junior with a nod.
Junior begrudgingly unfastens the watch.
66 EXT. BEST ONES! CORNER SHOP - SHORTLY AFTER 66
Senior exits the store, re-counting the cash himself. Junior slinks out afterwards wearing a bright orange 'Prime of our Lives' beanie, touching the skin where his watch was.
JUNIOR
How are we broke when we're a whole
economy now?
Senior stuffs the cash into his pocket.
JUNIOR (cont'd)
Hey- that was MY watch you just sold.
SENIOR
So now we're even. This is your fault.
77.
JUNIOR
You bell-end. Blaming ourselves gets
us nowhere.
He pulls a 'Prime of our Lives' branded notepad out the bag and starts scribbling.
JUNIOR (cont'd)
We're partners now.
He turns the notepad. He's written a heading 'THINK
DIFFERENT', with a subheading 'NEW IDEAS'.
SENIOR
I don't like how that sounds.
JUNIOR
I don't like it either. That's why
it'll work.
(a beat)
You were right, by the way.
SENIOR
About what?
JUNIOR
We needed cash. I trust you to keep
hold of it.
Senior's emotions run from suspicious to a little touched.
SENIOR
Well... thanks.
A long beat as they stare at each other.
JUNIOR
Your turn, partner.
Junior looks at the box in Senior's arms. Senior notices. He sighs. A long beat. He slowly offers his box to Junior. Junior's emotions run from suspicious to a little touched. He takes their box.
67 INT. SUPERDRUG - MAKEUP AISLE - LATER 67 Senior is scanning the shelves as Junior follows.
JUNIOR
What are we looking for?
78.
SENIOR
Either Piano Key or True Beige,
ideally. To cover the tattoo.
JUNIOR (putting it together)
Because Prime's the only one without
one... That's clever...
SENIOR
Tough skin-tone to match, though.
JUNIOR
I think its a nice skin tone.
Senior looks up at Junior. He nods and admires his hand.
SENIOR
Yeah. I suppose it is.
Junior is writing something in the book.
68 EXT. OUTSIDE
SENIOR (cont'd)
What are you doing?
JUNIOR
Making a list of compliments. For
reference. We need to stay positive.
SENIOR
That's clever...
JUNIOR
I'll add that after kind eyes.
PRIME MANOR - LATER 68
We reveal Senior and Junior between the bars of the fence.
Junior is still scribbling away.
JUNIOR
Reasonably jacked. You recycle. Good with money. Not cheap, but-
SENIOR
No definitely- I'd say you're generous.
JUNIOR
I've already got how good you are at
Secret Santa.
Senior looks out ahead of him. In the distance he sees a
fresh John running up the lawn.
79.
SENIOR
The whole left side is a no go.
JUNIOR
I went left.
SENIOR
Classic mistake. Gotta go right.
JUNIOR
Nobody's ever gone right?
SENIOR
Well, John I met once, massive twat-
(catches himself)
Bit of a twat, but he did. Reached that window over there.
JUNIOR
Not viable then. This needs to be
new. Something out of the box.
The distant John is netted. We hear the crowd whooping.
RACHEL (O.S.)
What's in the box, John?
MATCH CUT TO:
69 INT. HOTEL ROOM - HEATHROW AIRPORT TRAVELODGE - LATER 69
On a wall mounted TV we can see the exterior of Prime Manor accompanied by a cheesy musical sting. It's an episode of 'Prime of our Lives'. We cut to inside the lavish home where Rachel is confronting Prime, holding a cardboard box.
RACHEL
Seriously Shmoo, you're being well
weird. What's with the box?
PRIME
Uh... nothing, don't worry about it!
We cut to a shot of a small dog in the box: the 'PUPPY-CAM'.
PRIME (O.S.)
So, I finally did it- meet Mr Chips!-
We cut to a to-camera 'confessional' with Prime.
80.
PRIME
-he's the latest member of our home,
but I want him to be a surprise for
Rach on our anniversary!
We cut to a similar 'confessional' with Rachel.
RACHEL
I don't like the way John's acting.
(a quick zoom)
I have to find out what's in that box.
Back in the room, Junior and Senior are sitting opposite each other on a bed. Drawings and plans surround them. Senior is crossing off ideas like 'Clone Rachel' and 'Time Crystal?' in the notebook. Junior is applying concealer over his tattoo, looking at the TV.
JUNIOR
That's exactly how I pictured it.
(turning to Senior)
Oh! What about being gardeners? She
must need gardeners there right?
Senior spots a bit of concealer on Junior's eyebrow. He
casually licks his thumb and rubs it off.
SENIOR
Nah already been done- stay still
mate- Hmm. Gotta out-think ourselves.
Garden. Flowers. Dirt. Digging.
Dogging. Dog.
JUNIOR
Wait! Go back.
SENIOR
Dogging?
70 INT. COLEMAN'S TUNNELLING AND EXCAVATION - LATER 70 Senior and Junior sit across from COLEMAN, a sales agent.
COLEMAN
Well, we'd had a survey done since
the last time one of you lot came in.
It's a fairly easy bore, just the
quarter-mill deposit, and of course
permission from the council and the
residents. Get that, we dig boys.
They say nothing a while. Senior eventually clears his
throat and leans forward.
81.
SENIOR
And... what would you say the complete
opposite of your job is?
71 INT. UP AND AWAY SKYDIVING SCHOOL - AIRFIELD - NEXT DAY 71 Senior and Junior sit opposite a SKYDIVING INSTRUCTOR.
SKYDIVING INSTRUCTOR I'll say what I said to the last one of you clonies who came in and askedabout 'accidentally' landing on private property. Move on or I'm calling the police.INSERT: 'Halo Jump' is being crossed off the list.SENIOR (O.C) Cheer up, it felt like a good idea.72 EXT. BUS STOP NEAR AIRFIELD - LATER 72
They're both sharing a vape. Rachel smiles at them from the bus-stop ad of her signature fragrance "MULTIPLY by Rachel". Junior is looking sadly at the list of crossed out plans.JUNIOR Well that says it all then doesn't it?(catches himself) Sorry, it's just- to think we'd already been there, it's...Junior looks over to the poster. Senior notices.SENIOR You're thinking like yourself again. Wecan do better than that, come on. Getting back is about forward momentum. I wasn't sure at first but we just gotta keep...Senior looks as if he's just had an idea.JUNIOR What? Got something?SENIOR Lists! We're good at lists. Let mepop it in the positivity bracket before we forget!
82.
Junior deflates a little as Senior takes the notebook and
proudly scribbles it down. Junior looks up to the bus ad.
RACHEL (O.S.)
So is this the best anniversary ever?
73 INT. PRIME MANOR - LATER 73
Rachel and Prime are lit by candle light. They lie on either end of a sofa, legs draped over each other, drinking wine. He's rubbing her feet. It's so perfect.PRIME Spain 2013 was a big one.RACHEL (remembers, laughing)That class at the resort. What was it? Thai massage? Or Swedish?Prime also laughs, reaching for something beside the sofa.PRIME
(thick Swedish accent)It's reflexology. NOT MASSAGE!RACHEL Oh YEAH! Why was he so angry!?PRIME 'Cause he didn't have you.He lifts up a cardboard box, smiling as he opens it to reveal a puppy with a collar tag reading 'Mr Chips'.MATCH CUT TO:
74 INT. HOTEL ROOM - HEATHROW AIRPORT TRAVELODGE - NIGHT 74
Rachel screams in delight from the TV. Senior is asleep in bed. Junior sits on the floor, back against the foot of the bed, lit by the show's light. It's perfect. He looks numb.Beside him sits the box. He reaches inside, pulling out Rachel's incompatible charger. His face contorts.INSERT: PROLOGUE SHOT OF RACHEL SLEEPING. SHE OPENS HER EYES.
83.
75 EXT. PRIME MANOR - LATE NIGHT 75
It's raining. Junior stands in front of the gates, soaking
wet. He's looking down at the destroyed notebook, ink washing
away. Among the last legible scribblings is 'Go Right?'
NEW JOHN (O.S)
Hey... You... J-John?
Junior turns to look, seeing a terrified NEW JOHN.
NEW JOHN
Are- are you also trying to get in?
Junior looks back at the house, nodding. New John collects
himself, taking a few breaths before asking:
NEW JOHN (cont'd)
Please. Help me. Will you please give
me a boost? I need a support to-
JUNIOR
You boost me, I pull you up. Okay?
New John nods, planting his box and making a cradle with his
hands. Junior is boosted up. He sits on the fence and offers
New John a hand. New John looks concerned for his box.
JUNIOR (cont'd)
Come on! NOW! Let it go!
New John takes Junior's hand, leaving the box. Junior pulls,
helping New John as they both vault the fence and land
inside the grounds. Junior points towards the left.
JUNIOR (cont'd)
Go left, I go right. Okay? That way.
Go left! GO LEFT! GO!
New John gives a grateful nod and sprints left. Security
lights burst to life as New John distracts the guards.
Junior runs right, a clean route. He's close, closer than
last time. He looks left to see New John getting 'netted'. A
worthy sacrifice. He smiles. He's going to make it.
SLAM. A guard tackles him hard and he hits the ground. The
out of breath guard kneels himself up, straddling Junior.
GUARD
Haven't seen that manoeuvre in a
while. Almost had us there, Jonno.
84.
76 INT. POLICE STATION - TEMPORARY HOLDING CELL - LATER 76
Junior sits in the cell. He looks over to New John, who is curled up against the other wall, where he was a week ago.The door opens revealing Marty, wet and exhausted.77 INT. MARTY'S CAR - MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT 77 Marty drives. Junior is in the passenger seat.
JUNIOR Sorry for waking you up...MARTY (flatly)Where are you going? Junior thinks for a beat.JUNIOR I don't know.Marty sighs loudly.78 INT. MARTY'S FLAT - LATER 78
Marty opens the door and lets herself in. Junior follows behind as she throws her keys on the counter.JUNIOR Is there anything I can-MARTY -John's room is still empty, or justtake the sofa. But you need to leave in the morning, I've got work.Marty goes to leave when- JUNIOR
I'm just...
What?
MARTY
JUNIOR
I'm sorry about what... that other me
did, or didn't do or- I'm not sure,
but... I'm sorry.
85.
Marty looks at Junior and takes a long breath, sighing. She
reaches for a half bottle of spirit pushed to the back of
the kitchen counter and starts pouring herself a dram.
Junior slowly walks over, resting against the counter. Marty
looks at him. A beat. She flips over another glass for him
and takes her own over to the sofa. Slumping down.
Junior pours his own and joins her. There is a kerfuffle of
movement as they adjust their positions so that they're
sitting at a comfortable distance from each other. They sit
in silence, listening to a clock tick.
MARTY
It's funny, I slept better when I
knew you were here. It takes time to
get used to the quiet.
JUNIOR
Yeah. I can imagine. A lot more
bullshit here with me around.
MARTY
It wasn't all bullshit.
Marty sits and thinks for a beat as they both sip.
JUNIOR
(looking at drink)
This is strong. Is it from back home?
Marty 'hmms'. Quietly amused by that. She takes another sip.
MARTY
You know, I've never actually told
you why I left. Why I came here.
(a beat)
I was in love.
JUNIOR
Oh. Okay...
Marty nods and takes a sip.
MARTY
But it got messy and by the time it
was over I wasn't myself any more. I needed to get away. At first it felt like I'd made a huge mistake. That I was lost and alone in a foreign country. But then after a few months, you moved in. And you needed help. And I wanted to help. That's me, I help people. And it felt good.
(MORE)
86.
MARTY (cont'd)
I got to be part of all of you, part
of something bigger than my own
little... sadness. You made me feel
like myself again. Like I was back
home.
Junior nods, looking at his drink. He thinks he understands.
MARTY (cont'd)
And then you spend a lot of time with
someone and... Boom.
Junior takes a moment to find the words, it's not easy.
JUNIOR
I'm sorry, if I'm being honest and- I
don't want to speak for all of us
but... Marty I don't think it's ever
going to work betwee-
MARTY
(cutting him off)
No no no -I know. You can't be my
home any more John. And if it's all
the same, I think I'd prefer Martina
from now on if that's okay.
JUNIOR
Okay Martina.
MARTY
Martina, she just needs to- hear her
own words, you know? Take her own
advice. Get better at being with
herself when it's quiet-
Her phone starts to ring, cutting her flow. She answers.
MARTY (cont'd)
Hello? Uh-huh. That's me.
She stands up. We hear a muffled but authoritative voice.
MARTY (cont'd)
I understand... thank you. Yes I will.
She takes the phone off her ear, looking at Junior.
MARTY (cont'd)
I have work tomorrow. I need sleep.
JUNIOR
I understand.
87.
MARTY
Good. Pick yourself up, John.
79 INT. POLICE STATION - TEMPORARY HOLDING CELL - LATER 79
The door clicks open and Junior enters to see Senior, sat on a bench looking devastated.JUNIOR You went right?Senior lets off a despairing chuckle.SENIOR I woke up and you weren't there and Iknew exactly why and I- went for it. (getting emotional)And I can't get back. Junior bends down, looking at him in the eyes.JUNIOR Neither can I.SENIOR Then what the hell do we do now?JUNIOR We look after each other. Pick eachother up. Senior shakes his head, unconvinced.SENIOR What if we can't...Junior fishes into his pocket and pulls out the business card he received from Kosh.JUNIOR We literally just can.80 INT. KOSH'S PLACE - LATER 80
We are watching a fighting game on a giant TV in Kosh's now considerably better decorated party pad. We hear knocking.KOSH Pizza Hut's here.He bounces out of a big comfy chair and dad-jogs to the door.
88.
KOSH (cont'd)
(To someone else)
Oi! Pause it. No cheating.
We reveal Client John sat in the other chair.
CLIENT JOHN
I'm not, I'm not. It's paused.
Kosh opens the door, revealing Senior and Junior.
JUNIOR
Hey Kosh.
KOSH
Oh. Alright John. Other John?
Kosh re-positions himself, blocking the door.
JUNIOR
I know this is a bit sudden, but-
KOSH
I'm already with a client guys, you
know how crazy my schedule is.
JUNIOR
Yeah I understand, but-
KOSH
You need to book through the
website like every other-
JUNIOR
For sure, but... If I could just-
He pushes past Kosh and into the house.
KOSH JUNIOR
Woah woah woah, trespassing! I'm sorry mate, I don't mean
to be a hassle.
Junior spots Client John by the TV, observing the commotion.
JUNIOR (cont'd)
Hey John.
KOSH
I'm so sorry about this.
(to Junior)
Bad form, bruv. You've got to go.
Junior notices the half empty bottle of tequila on the side-
table, ignoring Kosh's protest.
89.
JUNIOR
Listen, John. If things with you are
tough, I'm sorry. You try hard and
you do your best and- you're good.
Okay? And knowing you, which- I think
I do, I'd say you don't hear that
from yourself enough.
Silence. Client John looks puzzled, but he's listening.
SENIOR (O.C.)
Unique skin tone.
JUNIOR
Yeah... that too. Thank you, mate.
(back to Client John)
Anyway. I think we both really need some me time- If only for the afternoon. You reckon we could all do each other a solid here?
Kosh and Client John share a look. Kosh turns to Junior.
KOSH
That isn't how this goes down, man.
JUNIOR
I can pay. This isn't about-
(To Client John)
I'll cover your share too.
Client John seems genuinely surprised by this.
CLIENT JOHN
You'd do that for me?
JUNIOR
Yeah. I've got you, John.
Client John looks back to Kosh and seems okay with it.
KOSH
You sure about this?
Client John shrugs a drunken, 'why not'.
KOSH (cont'd)
Wow. Okay. I guess I'll go find the
other controllers.
Senior enters the room, walking over to Junior.
SENIOR
This is, uh- I don't know quite what to-
90.
Wincing, Senior offers a hug. Junior puts his hands up.
JUNIOR
Yeah, that's black-belt stuff. Let's
work up to that.
SENIOR
How are we going to afford this?
JUNIOR
Don't worry about it. Just... play
nice, okay?
Senior takes a seat beside Client John. They nod at each
other. Kosh walks Junior to the door.
81 EXT. KOSH'S PLACE - CONTINUOUS 81 Junior steps out onto the drive.
KOSH
It's a double session today, so it'll
be triple that.
JUNIOR
Right. So, sextuple the price.
KOSH
The fuck you think we get up to here!?
JUNIOR
Six lots of money I mean.
KOSH
Oh... yeah, well, you offered. I am
running a business here.
JUNIOR
Of course. I- just need to, you know,
empty the old shoebox.
Kosh nods, he puts a hand on Junior's shoulder-
KOSH
This was... different.
-And shuts the door.
Junior opens his wallet, it's nearly empty. As he walks away
we hear 'Back for Good' being played on a piano.
91.
82 EXT. SHOPPING CENTRE - LATER 82
Tourists throw coins in front of Busking John. Junior walks past, stops, turns around and throws him a coin.83 INT. HOTEL ROOM - LATER 83
The sound of piano continues as Junior delicately packs up their Fïssn box, taking a moment to lovingly handle Rachel's charger before placing it inside and closing the top. He takes a deep breath.
84 INT. BEST ONES! CORNER-SHOP - LATER 84 Junior slams the box on the counter. Avo looks up, surprised.
JUNIOR
Cash.
85 INT. KOSH'S PLACE - MEANWHILE 85
On the TV we are watching two of the same fighting game characters perfectly block each other's attacks. Senior and Client John are playing.After a long moment The game times out. 'REMATCH?'.
Client John pours another sloppy drink and lights a cigarette. He doesn't offer either to Senior. They sit in silence as the game loads and share an awkward smile.CLIENT JOHN So you just move in?
SENIOR No, I'm... I've been here a while.Senior rubs the '505' tattoo on the back of his hand.CLIENT JOHN Right. How's that been?SENIOR Yeah. You know...Client John nods. 'FIGHT'. The endless blocking continues. SENIOR (cont'd)How long since you arrived? Client John doesn't respond.
92.
SENIOR (cont'd)
That long eh? A veteran.
Another beat. The fighters stand idly. Senior opens his
mouth to say something a few times before-
CLIENT JOHN
I know the question you're trying to ask.
Client John slowly turns to Senior, taking a drag from the
cig as he shakes his head.
CLIENT JOHN (cont'd)
And you know what I'm going to say.
Because it's all been said before...
SENIOR
Yeah. But if we love each other we
can still make it...
The words seem to hurt them both.
SENIOR (cont'd)
I'm sorry I'm supposed to be thinking
differently, this isn't what we-
CLIENT JOHN
-No exactly. Differently. We need to-
okay, hive mind. Great idea.
(clears the table)
Just imagine for a second you get back,
right? I dunno. Parachute or something
stupid like that. But it works. You boot
Prime. Move in. Welcome home. Yeah?
Senior nods but isn't quite following. Something seems
unusual about this John's energy.
CLIENT JOHN (cont'd)
Cool. So. What if going home was the
easy bit? What if you find out that on
the other side of that door, everything
both of you do: the house, the dog...
kids? It never moves you back to where
you want to be. You're just...
(a beat)
You're John Prime now, right? What does he do? What would you do?
Client John looks over to Senior, honestly looking for an
answer. Senior is just staring at Client John's hand.
SENIOR
What's your makeup brand? It's flawless.
93.
A jittery Client John covers his right hand with the other.
CLIENT JOHN
Uh. I forget?
Senior looks at Client John's other hand.
He's wearing a wedding ring. Client John is John Prime.
John Prime suddenly looks scared. It's very quiet. Thinking
fast, Senior makes a retching sound.
PRIME
What the-?
Senior faux retches again, keeping eye contact with Prime.
PRIME (cont'd)
What are you doin-
John Prime involuntarily heaves, covering his mouth.
He bolts to his feet and makes for the bathroom as Senior's
retching continues. He flings open the door, revealing Kosh
on the toilet playing a game on his phone. Having to
redirect himself, Prime throws up in the sink.
KOSH
Eurgh mate that's rough! Use the
kitchen sink you wreck-head!
As Kosh hastily stands and pulls his trousers up, Senior
makes it to the bathroom door and slams it shut. He grabs a
chair and lodges it under the door handle, effectively
locking the door.
KOSH (O.S.)
John what the fuck bruv!?
Open the door right now!
SENIOR
Sorry K. Thank you for
having me over, and over
again. You're a legend.
Senior runs back towards the TV and grabs Prime's jacket off
the back of the seat, putting it on. We hear Prime loudly
kicking and shouting from behind the bathroom door.
Senior finds shades in the lapel pocket and puts them on. In
the hallway mirror he sees 'Prime' looking back at him.
86 EXT. KOSH'S PLACE - CONTINUOUS 86 Senior walks out on to the street, looking around.
94.
Suddenly the driver's side door of a black town-car opens
and a very large chauffeur steps out. He slowly walks around
the vehicle and opens the passenger door, nodding at Senior.
Senior conceals his hands behind his back and enters.
SENIOR
Take me back home.
87 INT. PRIME'S TOWN-CAR - CONTINUOUS 87
As the car pulls away, Senior looks out of the tinted windows. He spots Junior walking up to Kosh's place. He's counting cash in an envelope.Senior registers a pang of guilt as the car pulls away.88 EXT. KOSH'S PLACE - CONTINUOUS 88 Junior walks up and rings the bell. Nothing. He knocks.
JUNIOR
Guys?
89 INT. PRIME'S TOWN-CAR - CONTINUOUS 89
Senior is looking down at his hand. He applies more makeup.He looks up to the rear-view mirror. The driver seems to be watching, but eventually looks back to the road.SENIOR Thank you. That'll be all.The divide slowly rolls up. Senior finally settles.He notices the platter to his right. Mineral water, diet cokes, beauty products. He spots 'MULTIPLY', the fragrance by Rachel.He sprays it into the air, smells it and smiles.SENIOR (cont'd) (rehearsing)Rachel. Your signature fragrance is so... you.(clears throat) Shmoo. Hey. How... have you been? It feels like it's been ages since we-(unsure, inhaling) Yes AND It's me. Your John. I'm back.
95.
BANG. SMACK. Senior looks up. Camera flashes go off as hands
slap against the tinted windows.
We have arrived at Prime Manor. Perhaps this wasn't actually a
great idea. Freaking out, he tries to collect himself as the
car pulls up the drive and parks outside the front door.
Senior steps out to a chorus of boos and yells from the
crowd. He waves his best pope-wave, forcing a toothy smile.
90 INT. PRIME MANOR FOYER - CONTINUOUS 90
Crew members from the reality show seem to be packing up for the day. There are stands and lighting rigs everywhere. This doesn't feel like a home. This feels like a set.A PA walks up and hands Senior some pages.PA Oh- you're back early. Call tomorrowis 7. The animal wrangler won't arrive till 12 so we're gonna have to riff without the dog. Jeff has cobbled together some material for you both.SENIOR Uh-huh. Do you know where Rachel is?PA Her suite. I assume?SENIOR
Her suite. Yes. Thank you.The PA walks away. Senior looks up at the grand staircase. Climbing to the top, he heads down a corridor and onto-91 INT. PRIME MANOR - UPSTAIRS HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS 91
Senior acts naturally as he slips out of view of the crew and begins to tread softly down the corridor. Walking past a shelf of National Television Awards he notices a door at the end, slightly ajar. He peers in to see Rachel, sitting at her dressing table. Senior takes a long, deep breath.SENIOR (To himself)It's Primetime, (Walking in)Honey, I'm ho-
96.
97.
92 INT. RACHEL'S BEDROOM - CONTINUOUS 92
Senior walks in, tripping over the old Fïssn shoe-rack placed by the door. Rachel looks up at him in the reflection of her table mirror.
RACHEL
What's up?
SENIOR
Hey...
She continues to busy herself at her dresser.
RACHEL
I thought you were staying at Kosh's.
SENIOR
He uh... had another client.
RACHEL (politely indifferent)
Oh well, sorry to hear that. See you
in the morning- you got Jeff's pages
for tomorrow?
Senior looks down at his pages the PA gave him.
SENIOR
I- I've missed us Rach. So much. It's
been so long.
Rachel looks at her pages confused.
RACHEL
That... can't be in the script, is it?
SENIOR
No- I mean- I'm back, Shmoo. I'm home.
Rachel's face drops and she turns back around.
RACHEL
Don't Shmoo me off-camera. We're not
working just because Kosh can't manage
his schedule.
SENIOR
No I want us to work all the time,
just like we used to. Whatever he's
done to mess that up-
He walks forward, starting to wipe the makeup off his hand,
partly revealing the 505 tattoo beneath it.
SENIOR (cont'd)
(Weak singing)
Whatever he's said, whatever he did,
I didn't mean it. I just want you
back for good.
RACHEL
(Dawning realisation)
Oh... fucking hell.
Rachel starts reaching for her handbag on the dresser.
SENIOR
We can figure it all out. You can call
me Prime if you want. I'll be whoever
we need me to be. I'm yours, your John,
back for goo-
ZAP! Rachel fires a taser at Senior, who seizes up before
collapsing to the floor like a sack of potatoes.
RACHEL
Jesus! I'm sorry John, I really don't
want to hurt you but-
We hear commotion down the hall as Prime bounds into the room clasping a national television award as a weapon. He trips over the Fïssn. Junior and Kosh follow behind.
PRIME
Rach, are you okay?
RACHEL
The fuck is going on now?!
Junior takes in the commotion, crouching down to tend to
Senior. He's still twitching a little from the shock.
Prime reaches Rachel, checking on her. She pushes him away.
RACHEL (cont'd)
Just- space-
(noticing Kosh)
Kosh. Hi.
She subtly pulls Prime back in, keeping up appearances.
KOSH
Hey Rach. I'm uh- here to collect.
He kneels down and slaps Senior a few times to wake him up.
JUNIOR
Careful man, he's just been-
98.
KOSH
-He locked me in my own bog, you know
I'm claustrophobic.
Junior's attention is now drawn to the hushed, serious
sounding conversation Prime and Rachel are currently having.
RACHEL
-Well one of them is
definitely going to know
now. They're going to tell
everyone-
PRIME
-It's us. We'll make it
work.
Junior slowly stands up, prompting Prime to lift up the
heavy-based television award.
PRIME (cont'd)
Oi! Do not come closer. This is a
national reality TV award and I'm not
afraid to smack myself with it.
Junior puts his hands out, a gesture of peace.
JUNIOR
It's only me, I'm just here to-
RACHEL
-No it's okay. We already know why
you're here. We're all here for the
same reason so let's all- calm down.
(to Kosh)
-Is he okay?
Kosh shrug-nods.
PRIME
Okay. We're all okay. Okay?
Junior nods, unsure, then looks to Rachel. She looks like a
different person to him. Her eyes are tired and anxious.
JUNIOR
Hey you.
RACHEL
Hey. There's no need to sing the
song, it's all become a bit too
complicated for that now. However you
thought this was going to work out,
you and I can't be that any more.
She looks over to Prime. Perhaps they've prepared for this.
99.
PRIME
I know that's hard to hear. It was
hard for me to hear. But... we made it.
We worked something out so we could
still be together.
RACHEL
A way that you, me and all of us can
stay part of the equation here.
JUNIOR
I don't understand.
RACHEL
I think you do. For us to work we
need you to go back now John. So long
as you're supporting the show, you're
already home.
Prime puts his arm around Rachel and waggles the award.
RACHEL (cont'd)
And we're a pretty great show, aren't
we?
PRIME
An award winning show. That means
something.
RACHEL
We're playing our parts in that. For
each other. Now it's your turn.
PRIME
No press. No one can know. Just go back.
RACHEL
And we can stay ourselves forever.
Junior is silent. A sadness washes over him.
RACHEL (cont'd)
None of this is ever going to be
perfect. It's no easier in here than
it is out there, but this is what we
are. And this is the happiest we're
ever going to be.
A long beat. They wait expectantly for an answer.
We hear a gurgle from Senior.
100.
JUNIOR
(bending down)
Hey mate. You okay?
SENIOR
It's you...
JUNIOR
Yeah. I'm here to pick you up. Come
on.
With all his strength Junior picks Senior up, taking his whole
weight. He turns to Rachel and Prime.
JUNIOR (cont'd)
I'm sorry we busted in like this.
You're right. It's time I leave.
Expecting more resistance, Rachel is thrown, unsure how she
feels about that.
RACHEL
Oh- Thank you...
JUNIOR
I can‘t be a part of this. I don’t
make sense here any more. Neither of
us do.
This was the last thing she was expecting to hear. Junior
starts to turn away, supporting Senior's weight.
JUNIOR (cont'd)
I want you to be happy, Rach. I
really do. I hope you guys can figure
that out. I just know I can't.
RACHEL
Wait- John-
A Tazer-drunk Senior is coming-to, he reaches out for her.
SENIOR
Shmoo... wait-
The room watches with baited breath as Junior pauses. He
looks at Senior and dutifully turns back around.
SENIOR (cont'd)
Hey you.
Hey, uh- I'm sorry about the taser.
RACHEL
101.
SENIOR
(out of it)
No. No I'm sorry- I've still got your
charger. But- I forgot to bring it again.
RACHEL
(starting to cry)
It's okay. You brought it back
already.
SENIOR
That's-
(also crying)
I guess you don’t need me to come
back then.
Rachel inhales sharply as we hear the opening notes of a now
orchestral arrangement of 'Back for Good'.
Junior gives her a comforting nod and leads Senior back out
of the room. A confused Kosh gives an awkward last wave and
a 'call-me' sign to Prime as he leaves.
Rachel, still processing what she's just heard, sits at the
dresser. Prime gently places the TV award back down.
Alone in the room, they take a long look at each other.
93 INT. KOSH'S PLACE - NIGHT 93
The trio are sitting on the sofa, engulfed in the TV. Kosh and Junior are mindlessly bashing buttons over the now familiar fighting game. Senior is starting to look scared.SENIOR It's... going to be okay, right?Junior leans over and pats him on the knee, passing the controller for him to take over.JUNIOR It's okay mate. We're all gonna beokay.
94 INT. KOSH'S PLACE - LATER THAT NIGHT 94
Senior is passed out on the sofa. Junior stands above him, watching him sleep. Like before he turns off a lamp on the coffee table beside his head.
102.
95 INT. MARTY'S APARTMENT - DAY 95
We hear the sound of sizzling, the odd clang of kitchenware
as Marty, dressed for work, enters the living room. Junior,
his back to her, is at the kitchen counter making crepes.
Marty opens her mouth to speak a couple times before-
MARTY
Um... John? I don't thi-
She's interrupted as Omar pushes past her and grabs a plate.
OMAR
Cheers babe.
JUNIOR
Anytime, legend.
Junior smoothly slides a crepe onto the plate and Omar joins
his boyfriend CHRIS on the sofa, also eating a crepe.
CHRIS
Morning Tina.
MARTY
Morning.
She cautiously steps forward as Junior flips the crepe.
MARTY (cont'd)
I don't think this is a good idea.
We're not-
JUNIOR
Oh I know, but I wanted a last chance
to say thank you and this-
(gestures at crepe)
Is the best way I know how.
MARTY
That's nice, but- Jesus I don't even
know which you you are.
He turns around and serves a crepe, taking off the apron.
JUNIOR
I'm still figuring that out myself.
He starts moving towards the front door.
JUNIOR (cont'd)
But I really like that I've got friends
on this side of the door.
(MORE)
103.
JUNIOR (cont'd)
And if it's ever possible that you can
be my friend too, you know where to find
me Martina.
He opens the door, and walks through it, closing it behind him.
She looks down at the crepe. We hear a smash as Omar drops his
plate in the background, watching TV.
KOSH (O.S.)
MATE YOU TOTAL LEGENDS!
96 INT. KOSH'S PLACE - MEANWHILE 96
Senior bursts up from a deep sleep to find Kosh rushing out of the bathroom, looking at his phone.KOSH TURN IT ON! TURN ON THE TELLY!!Senior reaches for the remote, turning on the TV. We hear it as Kosh slowly sits down next to him.RACHEL (O.C) It's exhausting trying to make senseof it. The longer the production went on the harder it got to- we just don't want to stay stuck living in the past any more, that's all.97 INT. TV STUDIO - THE MORNING SHOW - DAY 97
Prime and Rachel are sitting side by side, holding hands on a sofa. An interviewer is nodding. On a monitor the chyron reads 'BREAKING: RACHEL & JOHN TO END RELATIONSHIP'.RACHEL All that energy spent making it work,it's going in a new direction. New people, new experiences, new opportunities, it's really an open field for us now. And we can't wait.Rachel nods and smiles at Prime.98 INT. OFFICE - MEANWHILE 98
Johns slowly rise from their cubicles to watch the wall- mounted TVs. It feels like a disaster movie.
104.
PRIME
So in answer to your question. No,
the show will not be renewed for
another season.
A horrified John drops his coffee in slow motion.
99 EXT. LONDON (VARIOUS) - MEANWHILE 99
Other Johns are watching the news. Avo watches in his corner shop. Lee watches in the immigration centre, tattooing a fresh, utterly devastated John. QVC John is crying, still trying to sell knives.As the orchestral version of 'Back for Good' crescendos into its explosively cheesy chorus, we see Johns by the hundreds, thousands even, packing the streets.They. Are. Wasted. Pounding pints and freaking out, fighting, crying, tossing phone chargers and folding boxes. Kosh is deep in the crowd, doing what he does best.We see helicopter news footage of what's being dubbed 'The Biggest Breakup In History' and 'ArmageddJOHN'. World leaders offer their subtitled condolences to John and Rachel during this difficult time.
A hungover morning after, Johns are picking up the pieces. Outside 'Rachel's Pub' the windows are boarded up as decorators and builders filter in and out. A new sign is being winched up. It reads: Kosh's Place. A large A-board is placed outside reading: 'DATE-A-JOHN: SLOTS AVAILABLE'100 INT. KOSH'S PLACE - FORMERLY A PIZZA HUT - DAY 100
A woman slides her number across one of many tables, each with a John and a different potential date. A hand picks up the piece of paper. It's Moustache John. He smiles, goofily.101 INT. MARTY'S APARTMENT - EVENING 101
Chris and Omar are sitting on the sofa, leaning against each other. They're watching a dating show with John Prime.PRIME I'm John Prime, and I'm looking for love.(puts on shades) Will you be my ValenPRIME?Chris isn't into this. He changes channel to Rachel's new travel docu-series. She's eagerly exploring an exotic market.
105.
102 INT. NEW MALDEN BOWLING LANES - NIGHT 102
A bowling ball careens into the pins. Strike. Marty spins around, delighted. In the seats sit Junior, Senior, Chris, Omar and Window-Washer John, whooping and clapping.Marty takes her seat, exchanging finger guns with Junior. It's his turn. Senior and him talk strategy. Junior steps up, breathes deeply and... Gutter ball.Senior and Window-Washer John celebrate jubilantly as if he'd just bowled a strike. Marty cackles, looking up at the scoreboard as Omar hands her a beer.The scoreboard shows three Johns with the same score. zero.103 INT. PROCESSING AND DEPARTURE AREA - IMMIGRATION CENTER - DAY 103
Junior examines his messed-up tattoo. He is sitting in the same seat he was when he first arrived. On the table in front of him are pamphlets and a magazine. The cover is a first peek spread of the new season of Rachel's travel show 'BIG SPACES with RACHEL'. "I WANT TO SEE THE WORLD". Junior smiles. He gets it, good for her.PA SYSTEM (O.S.) ALL PERSONNEL, TAKE FIRST POSITIONS.He takes a deep breath, and looks down the corridor.104 INT. ARRIVALS ROOM - LATER 104
The orientation video ends and a brand new, terrified John looks at the door as it clicks and swings open. Junior calmly takes his seat at the table. He unfolds a pamphlet.JUNIOR Hey John. I'm not going to sugarcoat itfor you. This isn't going to be easy. But everything's going to be okay. I'm here to help you figure that out.Junior takes a Hobnob from the plate, biting into it.JUNIOR (cont'd) You can scream now.The John lets out a familiar, blood curdling scream. THE END.FADE OUT
106.